Is it mental and physical?!

Is it mental and physical?

For 5 years i have been suffering with what can only be descibed as panic attacks. Basically when faced with forms of transport, sport events, meetings, weddings/ other church gatherings i start to need the toilet. Even if i have just been i still get the feeling i need to go and am desperate, which starts me into panicing cos i feel i cannot do what needs doing and back out. i am taking natural remedy st. john wort to ease the panic but still find i need the loo. People say try not to think about needing the loo and to laugh at other people and think "do they need to go too." but i cant help it. I have looked into bladder weakness but that is a constant my problem is possible more a mentally reactived of feeling trapped or a problem from time past i dont no? can any one help?

I really do sympathise with you. I have exactly the same and have suffered for the same time as you (around 5 years). The only difference is that I think I am going to pass out or be physically sick. It's so awful isn't it - I know exactly how you feel. I have come to the conclusion that it is a fear of being stuck in a place you cannot get out of quickly like being trapped combined with a fear of embarrassing yourself in public. Most of the time I am fine but like you I really suffer in certain situations (same ones you have listed)- I also start to feel lightheaded but I know that it's because I am in a panic with a racing heart and inside, you feel like you are dying. When I tell people how I feel they are really shocked as I appear very confident, am very loud and outgoing!. I have tried so hard to get to the bottom of it - why do I get this? Perhaps it's a loss of confidence, a fear of losing control, a fear of humiliating myself - it's probably a combination of all three!. I did actually pass out about once in a pub (I don't drink) and no one helped me they just threw me out on the street so, maybe this was the trigger. The problem is that happened about 18 years ago in my early 20's and I probably just hadn't eaten enough like you do when you are that age but I just can't get the humiliation and the feeling of being out of control out of my head.

So, what to do?. I try to face my fear. Think to yourself, so what, you need to go to the toilet - big deal. If you and I were at a wedding and in a church and in the middle of the service you got up and went outside I honestly would not think anything of it - unless of course we were getting married (ha ha!!) I wouldn't think - I bet he is off to the loo ha ha - people aren't like that. If someone said afterwards "where did you go to" you just say "to the loo". Remember, whereever you are, you can always get away for a couple of minutes to re-centre yourself or if needs be - go to the loo!. To be honest, I get on my own nerves sometimes - in the end I think I don't care if I do actually be sick and pass out! Also, ask yourself what is the worse that can happen? you will think, maybe you will have an accident (you can't hold on anymore for the loo!) well, if that did happen - so what. The truth is that it's not going to happen because a) you are a man and go almost anywhere and b) has it ever actually happened to you - probably not!

I would urge you not to ask the doc for medication - you will be prescribed antidepressants - that is a short term solution and will cause you more problems in the long run - you need to work through this. Also I have found that simply telling people how you feel will help. All of my friends know I suffer with anxiety in certain situations so if I say, I feel a bit anxious they are the first to say relax!

Good luck to you - I can assure you that is entirely stress related. If you feel that it could be a physical problem like you really cannot hold on then check with a GP - however, any physical problem would have probably gotten worse over the past five years. Stress can produce real physical reactions in us.

Finally, on a lighter note, my boyfriend has a suggestion for you. Carry a small bottle of water with you and in the unlikely event that you have an accident - quickly throw some water over you and say to everyone - I can't believe it, I have just spilt my drink on myself! (perhaps use orange juice).

Sorry for the long answer - I hope that I have helped a little - check out anxiety on resolved questions and you will see you are not alone! Good luck. x