A silent cry for help~?!
Question: im 20 but i feel like im well over forty. i should feel young but instead im wearing clothes with the letter X in front. i am not hiding from the truth any more.I'm 20 ,i weigh around 220 pounds and im 160 cm in height. owh, and my BMI is in the obese catergory. i should be happy, going out on dates, hanging out.but instead, the truth is im fat, i mean FAT.i've never had a boyfriend, because i guess guys are too scared of my size,never even worn a pair of jeans because they dont look good on me,hard for me to get shoes, im too ashamed to shop in departmental stores, always made fun of, directly or indirectly,which leads to me crying myself to sleep at night and slight depression. i feel so lonely. all of this is eventually leading to a silent cry for help and constant low self esteem. the easy way out is surgery which is definetely costly and at my age where there are other options, is out of the question. I'm sorry if this sounds like a sympathy letter, but its been on my mind a long long time and i keep running away from the truth. its a new year,time to change.i have my whole life ahead of me. i really need help. i love to take pictures but not pictures of ME! when will i be able to actually look and feel good in a photo?
Answers: im 20 but i feel like im well over forty. i should feel young but instead im wearing clothes with the letter X in front. i am not hiding from the truth any more.I'm 20 ,i weigh around 220 pounds and im 160 cm in height. owh, and my BMI is in the obese catergory. i should be happy, going out on dates, hanging out.but instead, the truth is im fat, i mean FAT.i've never had a boyfriend, because i guess guys are too scared of my size,never even worn a pair of jeans because they dont look good on me,hard for me to get shoes, im too ashamed to shop in departmental stores, always made fun of, directly or indirectly,which leads to me crying myself to sleep at night and slight depression. i feel so lonely. all of this is eventually leading to a silent cry for help and constant low self esteem. the easy way out is surgery which is definetely costly and at my age where there are other options, is out of the question. I'm sorry if this sounds like a sympathy letter, but its been on my mind a long long time and i keep running away from the truth. its a new year,time to change.i have my whole life ahead of me. i really need help. i love to take pictures but not pictures of ME! when will i be able to actually look and feel good in a photo?
Only you can change who you are. Eat less, exercise more; you loose weight by consuming fewer calories than you burn. Check out the book "The Three Hour Diet" by Jorge Cruise to get motivated and get some great tips for losing weight. Sign up at FitDay.com to keep track of your eating habits. My other suggestion would be to get with a personal trainer; they're very motivating, the work is easier and more beneficial than getting a gym membership and never going. Cheap? No, but it's cheaper than gastric bypass and they sincerely care about you.
You'll have to change your self-image before you can feel better about yourself. Guys are not afraid of a certain weight; you are turning them off by your lack of self-confidence. Love yourself; the rest will come naturally. If you can't love yourself until you look better in your own eyes, take steps to achieve that.
Try shopping at a plus size store; I would guess you're around an 18/20/22 size and most plus stores have even bigger sizes than that, which might make you feel better about your own size. Lane Bryant is very helpful, and the staff is all plus sized as well, so you don't need to feel like you're being made fun of.
Trust me, I've been where you are now, and I've done all of the things I just listed above. Once I learned to love myself, the rest came easily. Now I'm not obsessed about my weight, I don't cry myself to sleep, and my boyfriend loves my curves. Hugs to you, and good luck!
Im sorry if this sounds harsh, but it's the truth. You'll look good in photos when you either accept who you are and appreciate what you have or change the way you are now to the way you imagine that you should be.
Everyone is unique and it's up to you to find the style, body shape, personality, that best suits you.
When you decide "This is who I am" or "This is who I want to be like." If you need more afterwords, just post again.
When you love yourself enough to start addressing the problem, and not the symptoms.
You are overweight; the only way to deal with this [and I mean the ONLY way] is to expend more energy than you take in. This means eating sensibly and exercising. The great thing with exercise is that once you find something that suits you and start doing it regularly, you'll start to feel better immediately in a general sense.
Exercise promotes a sense of wellbeing which will boost your enthusiasm for your new fitness regime. Unlike crash dieting, exercise won't see pounds drop off quickly - in fact you should probably stop weighing yourself altogether [I started a weight-training programme about 5 months ago and have lost twelve inches off my waist and hips, but only about 3lbs, as I have replaced much of my body fat with muscle, which is much denser]
You have to really want to commit in order for it to be a success. You have to think positively - self-confidence is the big key here. Being fat does NOT have to mean no boys - I have a number of girlfriends who are big girls and are married or dating regularly - it is about putting yourself out there, smiling and getting on with it. People are put off by insecurity and self-doubt.
Good luck!
I have an adult daughter in the same position. She has chosen to have gastro bypass surgery. I feel this is drastic but she feels it is her only alternative at this point in her life. There are many physical and psychological test you must have before they agree to let you have the surgery, after all you can never eat like a "normal" person again. You should begin by seeking a therapist and a nutritionist. You do not have to starve yourself, but you do need to not look to food as a security blanket, and we all do that. Being in therapy will teach you to deal with your emotions without food and the nutritionist will teach how to eat a more healthy diet and how best to exercise. Begin by walking and go from there. The weight may not pour off but you will feel better about yourself and you will lose weight. And remember you do not have to weigh 100 pounds. We are all built differently. So don't try to look like so and so you are not them. So make a call to your doctor and ask for referrals to see a therapist and a nutrition -ist. Best of luck !
Yes it might be a silent cry for help. We all cry for help, I think. Where and when we are afraid. Thing is, you probably should talk with a doctor and get into an exercise program in your area for people who are overweight (and not strings working out, smile smile). Anyway, yes, surgery is a cost. But everything comes at a price. And that includes poor eating habits, the urge not to work out, isolation, anger, depression, all good and bad choices come with a price. The thing is, there must be tons of support groups online for people who want to lose weight, and are having problems with it. The other thing is, do you want to feel better about yourself? You may need to lose weight mostly for your health. And your goal should be only to feel better, PERIOD. I physically felt the best I had ever felt, when I was working out, in my 20's. Then got married, had tough times, let myself go, and now I'm fighting to get myself totally back. Back to the way I felt before, when I was eating right, and working out. I'm talking about a feeling, and not how I looked. In fact, at one point, my roommate's parents thought I might be anorexic. I just happen to have small bones, and weighed more than I looked like I did, because I had muscles. I felt better than ever. And I knew I was eating well!! They knew that. But that was back then. Now I'm only hoping to tone things up. I'll never look that skinny again. -- ANYWAY, I've got friends who are big, and some are overweight, but they are happy with themselves, and who they are!!!!!!!!!! Thing is, you DO HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU. So, get some good friends, through here and other places, support groups, and get out of your pity party and join in on life with some people who will encourage you to lose until you can feel better physically. Remember, it takes eating habits and exercise, to lose enough to feel a difference. I remember one time, just by cutting out an evening snack, which I didn't think was that bad, I lost 5 lbs in two weeks. I was shocked. So, good luck, and God bless you in this endeavor to get on the right road again. Okay???
You need to learn to love yourself. What other people think about you doesn't matter. It is what you think of yourself that is holding you back.
I know this sound fake, but it isn't. It is real. Read The Secret. It will put a whole new look into your mind of what you can accomplish.
My wife is not thin, but she is a wonderful loving giving person who I met online. She is the half that completes my whole. She is my partner and help mate.
There is a girl at my school who complains about her weight and that guys don't like her. The silly thing is that when she puts effort into herself, she is really very stunning. She can be very outgoing and energic. But some rumors were started about her at school and she got depressed and now she doesn't take care of herself. She is so draining to be around now, when I used to enjoy her smile.
Act happy, be happy, smile. It honestly does not matter what other people think about you. The people at the store see you for a few moments and then they forget about you. You have to live with yourself. Accept who you are and enjoy life. You only get one shot at being in your 20's.
Get outside, turn your face towards the sun, close your eyes and soak up the warmth on your face. Listen to music that makes you want to dance and dance like there is no one around. Sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs. I like being in the car by myself, cuz I turn the music up loud and can sing.
One of my wife and I's friends from her work is the one roundest men I have ever met. He is BIG. We met his wife at the office Christmas party, and she is not small either. But she was very pretty. He sings and is happy most of the time. It is very clear that they are very much in love. My exwife is a large statured woman. Not everyone is going to be the size of the department store clothes. That has been my complaint about the stores is that they don't carry clothes for all different sizes. I think that Lane Bryant has a monopoly on large women clothes and they are really expensive. It is hard for my wife to find clothes sometimes. I was really upset at Victoria Secrets, that they didn't carry bras in my wife's size. Wouldn't you think that a store like that would carry all sizes or you could at least order some? I did go to the manager another day, after I had taken my wife there and she had gotten totally embarrassed. She said that the store can order bras in different sizes, but of course my wife isn't really thrilled about going there again after the way she was treated. Being large has it's problems, but it is part of our lives. Be happy with who you are. There are guys out there who can look beyond the clothes tag number and love a girl for who she really is.
I hope I helped. Good Luck!