I feel like relapsing...please help?!

I know that feeling, I was ana/mia for years. It does seem like a drug high in a way. That feeling of self control with the starving, and the relief with purging.
I understand those thoughts you're having too, I still have them. but thoughts are just thoughts, they don't have to be acted on. they do go away. I don't know how to stop them, but I do know how I cope. I pray, go for a walk, and stick to my eating plan no matter what. Even if I don't feel like eating, when it's time to eat, I make myself. Eating several small meals helps with the purge urge since there's not that much at one time to make me feel like getting rid of it to relieve pain. Don't keep eating either, make a stopping point and then leave the table, leave the house if necessary.
just try anything to distract your thoughts, don't let yourself keep the drama going in your mind. When you get those thoughts, push them aside and get busy. It's what works for me. Good luck, don't undo all the good work now.

just think how skinny and pale you looked. and keep thinking other people dont find that combination attractive (because they don't)
Also find you bmi number and stick to it you will be healthy look healthy be active if you slide or regress chances are you wont have friends anymore. Honestly who wants to hang out with a person who is thin and pale and looking as if they were going to die
Most of all find a reason to stay at your recommended bmi number and use it as a positive tool

Just keep thinking about how much better you feel now that you aren't throwing up and starving yourself. Ask your therapist if they can help give you any advice. Please don't relaspe no matter how temping it may be. If you ever want to talk about it just email me. I hope I helped you :).

scarlettescull@yahoo.com

I didnt believe you could recover from an eating disorder... until i recovered from anorexia. But because of my ed, i suffer from stunter growth ( im 19 and only 5'1"), i have very weak bones (due to not getting my period).
You dont want to turn out like me, so dont relaspe... its a long, difficult journey but you can do it

Oh ya... i also think i have some undiagnosed kidney problem

You need to occupy your mind with something else. Try running 15 miles a day and if you still manage to have bad thoughts.,,, you aren't running further enough yet.
This cures 90% of all "problems".