How can I help my friend realize she needs to lose weight?!
Question: One of my best friends that I've known since 6th grade (and we're both freshmen in college now) is very overweight but says that she loves her body. She has an apple body shape with lots of belly fat so I'm worried that she's at risk of heart disease. She's at least 80lbs too heavy. Every time I suggest we try to lose weight together (because I'm overweight too but not as much and I've been losing weight) she says that she's just fine with her body. She also has a completely skewed idea of body size and thinks a size 12 is pretty small. I don't want to just tell her "lose weight because you're at risk for heart problems and diabetes" because she'd be insulted. Also, we rarely see each other in person because we go to different schools in different towns so I dont want to just be like "You're too fat" over the phone or IM. What is the best way to help her see the truth and get motivated to be more healthy?
Answers: One of my best friends that I've known since 6th grade (and we're both freshmen in college now) is very overweight but says that she loves her body. She has an apple body shape with lots of belly fat so I'm worried that she's at risk of heart disease. She's at least 80lbs too heavy. Every time I suggest we try to lose weight together (because I'm overweight too but not as much and I've been losing weight) she says that she's just fine with her body. She also has a completely skewed idea of body size and thinks a size 12 is pretty small. I don't want to just tell her "lose weight because you're at risk for heart problems and diabetes" because she'd be insulted. Also, we rarely see each other in person because we go to different schools in different towns so I dont want to just be like "You're too fat" over the phone or IM. What is the best way to help her see the truth and get motivated to be more healthy?
Very recently one of my friends approached me in regards to my need to be more healthy, and all I heard was that my friend thought I was fat. I told her that I liked myself just the way I am. We exchanged some heated words.
Well, what she said ate at me because the truth is everytime I look in the mirror or put on a size 22 pair of jeans I feel horrible. I desperately want to lose weight, but I've been afraid that I would fail....again. Most of us who are overweight (obese) want the quick fix, and sadly the quick fix things like gastro bypass or lap band still don't work for the long haul unless we change eating and exercise habits.
I started eating a low fat diet and walking a few days ago. My friend's encouragement means everything to me. When I told her I had decided to try again, I added that I need for her to let this be my idea. I asked for her support ; but also asked her to restrain from offering me unsolicited advice. She agreed, and is doing her part as I am doing mine.
I would say that the best way to help her be motivated is to stay away from unsolicited advice, and focus more on telling her things like, "we can do together what neither of us can do alone". Make it a we thing instead of a you thing. My friend is very thin because she eats healthy and is an avid exerciser, so she already does what she would like to see me do. She is setting a very positive example for me. We are doing well together, holding our own boundaries. I've stayed true to my plan for four days now.
I hope when I lose my motivation she'll be able to tell me I can do it, that I'm worth it, and things like that.
Hope this helps. Thanks for loving her enough to want to see her around for a lot more years.
Send her old pictures of herself and comment on how good she looked then. If she still doesn't care then give up. if you don'rt like being seen with her becasue she is a whale then find new friends.
keep inviting her over for dinner and have real healthy foods for dinner. I think its great that you guys are still friends!
Leave her alone and let her be happy
she might actually have an eating disorder.
there are people out there who believe they are too skinny and gain weight but are never satisfied with their image. they have a distorted sense of what their body looks likee. unfortunately, i have no idea how to approach this situation but maybe if you try and drop hints like maybe u should see someone ur not urself lately... blahh blahh..
good luck!
you told her she should exercise and she said she's fine with her body. If you keep pestering it then she won't be your friend much longer. If she says she's fine she's fine just drop it.
but if you MUST keep trying say: Look (insert name here) im really worried that you at risk for hear disease and diabetes and im not trying to be mean but it would help if you lost weight.
i think that you need to leave her alone. if you consider yourself overwieght then you focus on you loosing wieght not her.if she is happy with herself then let it be. aparently you arent happy with you so then you do what you have to do to be happy. i honestly think that i am not overwieght and i am a size ten. i dont think she is any bigger. look i think that you have to mind your own buissness and let her live her life. she seems to be pretty happy. and you on another hand seem not to have self confidence and not love yourself enough and the person who needs help is you.