I just found out a guy I have started seeing is HIV+ he found out last night..?!
Question: I have been seeing this guy for a couple of months - just casually and more as friends building to that possible relationship - we luckily have both been on the wave length of lets keep it slow and enjoy ourselves and see where we end up.. so I havent had sex with him and the only intimacy we have shared is kissing and cuddling - anyway he decided to get tested for all STDs as he was thinking about moving forward and felt it was a sensible thing to do (he didnt tell me about it at the time) and last night found out he is in fact HIV+ apparently his ex used drugs (he didnt know if she used needles) he says they split up because of the drugs and other things and he says he has never been with another guy and although its in the more unusual area it seems he has contracted it from a female as there is no other way he can think of that he got it.
We had a good talk today and agreed we would continue on as before but just being extra careful... cont...
Answers: I have been seeing this guy for a couple of months - just casually and more as friends building to that possible relationship - we luckily have both been on the wave length of lets keep it slow and enjoy ourselves and see where we end up.. so I havent had sex with him and the only intimacy we have shared is kissing and cuddling - anyway he decided to get tested for all STDs as he was thinking about moving forward and felt it was a sensible thing to do (he didnt tell me about it at the time) and last night found out he is in fact HIV+ apparently his ex used drugs (he didnt know if she used needles) he says they split up because of the drugs and other things and he says he has never been with another guy and although its in the more unusual area it seems he has contracted it from a female as there is no other way he can think of that he got it.
We had a good talk today and agreed we would continue on as before but just being extra careful... cont...
First of all let me tell you that the reaction from people will be shocking. That's a given. There are books that you can check out at the library or even buy new at barnes and noble. They have great info on how to deal with aids. It sounds like you and your friend would benefit from this kind of professional information available now. It's now like it was 20 or 30 years ago when no body really knew about it and was very freaked out about it. Through education on the subject we have learend so much about HIV now. I have a few friends that are HIv positive and we still have alot of fun together and a positive relation. It was not easy for them at first. This is why you and your friend mainly need profesional help. There are even counselors that will help. This is some serious stuff. Talk to a doctor about the medications avaiable for his blood type and life style. They do have numerous side effects. This is why we have so many medications for HIV available now, there is no one pill for everyone, but mainly on the Mental side of things. Keep cheering him up and have him talk with other people ( support groups around the area ) of peolple that are HIv positive and they also have sub-groups. In which he'd fit on. Like recently infected ( diagnosed ) men or women of HIV. I just went to the gay and lesbian center in san francisco, It was amazing to see how much support is avaialbe. I hope it all goes well
better to be careful then to get it right?
My friend recently died of AIDs. The only thing you can really do for your friend is to just be their friend. m Ultimately it's up to them whether or not they decide to lead a clean and healthy life from here on out...you can encourage them to do so, but as their friend that's really all you can do for them.
And as for your predicament with your ex, I'd say get tested. I've learned that the smartest thing to do is to get tested after every partner, especially if they cheated.
I applaud you for staying with him. I'm not sure if I would have been so understanding. Please be extra careful. You don't want to put yourself in any position that could have been avoided. I think you know where I am going with this.
Take care!
If his ex was shooting up and had herself contracted hiv from another user, then its likely that she gave it to him when they had sex. Good luck.
You are not equipped to sort out his emotions at this stage, he will need counselling from specialists and you will need advice on how to help him come to terms with this.
well go with him to the d.r. and see what they say and try to be thee for him hope your ok
Somehow (and this is how i see it). I don't think he is being completely honest with you.
It just sounds like there is more to the story then you're letting on.
Im not calling you a liar or him either, it just seems like there is a big chunk out there not being told.
You need to make sure you want this relationship and realize it will definitely be a lot harder being close (and intimate) with this person. Don't ever be risky, having a terminal illness is not worth one night of passion.
Before you both put blame on this girl, maybe she should be tested too?
In the end it is your call, no one can make it for you. Just know what the risks and complications will be & if you're willing to make that big sacrafice then i don't see the problem. Just be smart.
I BELIEVE U SHLD BE CHECKED IF U HAVE HAD UNPROTECTED SEX AND FIND A SUPPORT GROUP AND ATTEND IT WITH HIM SO U N HE CAN LEARN THE FACTS AND WHO KNOWS U CLD BE SAVING HIS LIFE
First off, if you are not married (or in a commited relationship), you should be tested for all STD's when ever you change partners. If your ex cheated once, chances are he cheated more than once. Get the test done for yourself, then again in 6 months.
If your current "friend" isn't gay, and has never used iv drugs, or had blood transfusions, or been infected through contact with infected blood in an open sore or scratch on his body, he could have only gotten it from sex with a woman. Since he's not 100% sure who he got it from, he really needs to contact everyone he has slept with. He probably got it from the chick who was using drugs, but one never really knows. Everyone he has had sex with needs to be tested, and their partners since him need to be tested.
As for your friend, maybe it would help if you found support groups. One for him for people with HIV, and one for you, as a person who cares about someone with HIV.
Another thing you can do is get educated. Find out as much information as you can. Talk to your doctor. Start going to doctors appointments with him. Know what his medications are and what his treatment plan will be. Get involved with non profit organizations in your area that have anything to do with HIV/AIDS. This is something that will forever be one of his #1 priorities. He will need a strong support system.
Should you decide to have sex with this person, use protection. Be religious about it. There is no reason why you cannot have a happy healthy sex life if you protect yourself. Use male and female condoms everytime. Should you choose to become intimate with this person, be sure you get tested periodically.