How do you not percieve having bpd or multiple personality disorder as a ''weakn!

How do you not percieve having bpd or multiple personality disorder as a ''weakness'' or percieved

vunerability that you have?~ this sometimes is how i cant help but see it, i feel angry at these things and the fact i cant cope with life and need therapy, i see it as though i have an inadequate vunerability or a weakness.
is there a way i can percieve it without viewing it this way?
im 29 and ive suffered alot of trauma in my life since 15, and now im trying to gain control over my life, get some self esteem, learn how to be assertive, deal with rage and anger, which is a big problem, needing help in dealing with depressive moods, high levels of anxiety, disociation, relating to people, learning how to form friendships, build relashionships....all these things i need help with....ive never made one friend in life, or never had a girlfriend either..
i feel really bitter about this, and incredablly angry, i also feel inadaquate and ashamed that i have these problems...
i percieve my self as weak, and i get angry at myself at any percieved vunerability i have
can any one relate?

1 month ago
im a bpd sufferer, im an incredabally lonely person, and i feel extremely angry at others around me living their lives and being happy, as ive missed out on that for all this time

I'm not surprised you feel bitter and angry. You've had a really bad deal in life. And - although I suspect you won't believe me - what I hear is a strong person. You've done something about things, you've not given up.

Each of us is born with certain characteristics - to be more or less perceptive, more or less relational etc. But this is just the start. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with how we are born, it just is, it's part of being a member of the great wide human race in all its diversity. What happens next is where it gets difficult. We will each have our own individual way of understanding, responding to, dealing with, whatever comes our way. One child is beaten regularly from the age of 18 months and withdraws into her/his shell, hiding as much as possible; a different child, with the same treatment, cuts off from the feeling of hurt and becomes a 'hard' adult, unfeeling and sadistic; another child again will split off part of themself and call it 'bad', the one who deserves the beating. Each of these is a survival strategy, and you can't judge any of these as weak or wrong - they're just what is possible for that particular 18 month old child to do in order to survive. You could only deal with what happened to you in the best way you could - you found a creative solution. This became your way of dealing with the world. Although you talk about trauma since 15, I've a big hunch that life wasn't plain sailing before that. By the time the traumas hit, you were entrenched in the way of surviving that had got you through. This isn't a weakness, it's survival.

In turning against yourself, being angry with yourself and calling yourself weak, you are perpetuating something that helped you survive at one time. It doesn't really work hugely well any more, but you can't just give it up because you 'know', deep inside, that it's what keeps you safe.

This is why good, long-term, psychotherapy is helpful - it will enable you to begin to do things differently without having to force yourself, but within the context of the very particular relationship you have with your therapist. The fact that you sound so angry suggests that there's lots of great energy in there (you haven't been flattened and exhausted by your experience) so I would have every hope that you can come through and lead a fuller life, with whatever friends and relationships you decide you really want. You don't have to be like anyone else - you can become your own unique self, which will include who your experience has made you, but not be dominated by it. I really hope things work out for you.