My Husband temper is starting to make me wonder.?!

My Husband temper is starting to make me wonder.?

This has been going on for a period of time. He has always been a hot head with very little patience for much of anything. He is a loud person. He works in sales so he works a ton of hours but regardless of that the verbal abuse that we all get in the house from him is no excuse. I hate to ask him for help. Some how it ends up being some sort of drama involved. Last night it was the dog fence and I ended up going out there w/ our 9 year old and fixing it myself. He is the type that acts first and thinks second. He will be the first to go fight w/ a neighbor for speeding in the cul-de-sac with our kids playing outside. When he gets around some people and he drinks and that includes my mother he just gets louder than normal or something bad ends up happening. He has never hit me nor attempted to. I have suggested us go and speak to someone in regards to his anger but he thinks its a waste of time. I just feel lost. The kids see it. He seems to take more out on the older son now.

Wow. It sounds as if though he's pre-dispositioned by nature to be that way, but why would he allow you, or your 9 year old to repair a fence when he's perfectly capable?

I hate to ask, but is there suspected drug use at work? Or is there some unusal request made outside of his normal duties at work that'll stress him out?

I am a perfectionist by nature, and a lot of my ideas and focus on doing things right the first time and cleanliness, drive people around me nuts!

I never get angry or anything - but I am aware of this! I would imagine that he would be aware of his actions as well.

He is right about one thing, talking to someone else will not help. I know it wouldn't with me. All it would be is someone else's opinion on how THEY think I should live. I can make that decision myself!

If he is so set in his ways about his focus on anger, and you think it's affecting your children, and you can't come to grounds on a mutual resolution after all of this time.....I'd consider separation if I were in your shoes. I'm sorry to say that, after all it is a drastic measure, and you do not know how he will react.

Marc and Da Phantom also have some good points.
Good luck in any decision you make.