A question about bipolar and avoidance during a depressive episode?!

A question about bipolar and avoidance during a depressive episode?

My BF is long distance and is diagnosed as very bipolar (he's on meds). he recently went through a traumatic stress (friend tried to commit suicide) and he's gone into a depressive episode. He has been avoiding all of my phone calls and e-mails... except i think he's talking to many new girls on his social networking page. Recently, he sent me an e-mail saying that he doesn't know what's going on and he misses me. He wanted to know if I was seeing someone else. I said I wasn't.. he said he wasn't and he's been very sad... then he started avoiding me again. I don't understand bipolar at all. During a severe depressive state, would someone ignore the people they are close to and have random chats with strangers? Please answer only if you understand bipolar... I am too confused already. Thanks. :-)

1 week ago
i know he's talking to them. new people pop up on the page... and one recently left a comment in reference to something that I know about him (a project was working on)...

A depressive episode is pretty much the same whether it's due to bipolar, cyclothymia, or some other flavor of mood disorder.

Social interaction during depression can seem pretty weird to people around the depressed person. My mother could be deeply subdued by her depression, then sparkling and cheery on the telephone with someone, then under a cloud again. I thought this was strange until I began to suffer from depression myself. It's possible to ramp up for some interactions even when I'm feeling suicidal, and I show how I really feel only to people I am close to.

There are probably many reasons why this could happen, and no one can speak for your boyfriend better than he can. You need to talk to him about how this situation seems to you so that he knows what your feelings are. He may not be able to change the fact that he has more energy for strangers than he does for someone who loves him, but together you may be able to come to an understanding about why this bothers you and what he can do to reassure you.

Loving someone with a mood disorder means doing more to make the relationship work than is probably true for most couples. Doing so long-distance is especially hard. The two of you need to communicate well, and that's hard to do when you can't actually be face-to-face.

You both have my best wishes.