Why do compliments have such an affect on me?!


Question:

Why do compliments have such an affect on me?

whenever someonebody compliment me- it like I get all full of myself. I start to think "man I am better then everyone else" but whenever someone insults me or compliments someone next to me, it like I get really mad. Why is this?


Answers:

I think most women (all women) go through that. We all want to feel beautiful and special even in, especially in, a crowd of other women. The sting lasts for a few seconds when someone else gets the praises instead of us, but boom the need is gone because that confidence and assurity should be there in you to tell you that you have all you need, and of course, you're not everyones cup of tea. No one is.

However, when you say that you get really mad when you don't get "the compliment" it raises a flag to me for possible insecurity in yourself and a lack of self-confidence which creates a neediness almost desperation to be signaled out above others in order to feel good about yourself. Feeling full-of-yourself at passive compliments doesn't mean anything good about you. You should feel good when someone compliments you. Every one does, but be balanced. Pride is what happens before we fall and it sounds like you fall a lot from this.

You'd better deal with this fast because even if you're beautiful physically there will always be many, many, many women physically more beautiful than you. Also, jealousy is not something any woman wears well, so please work on getting past that before you find yourself saying or doing things (if you aren't already) to try to defame other women who you know look better than you or you fear may look better than you. Such behavior really only makes you look bad and is a big turn off to men. Besides, by societies standards, there will be more and more women considered far more attractive than you as you age.

I wonder if somewhere in your life, specifically in your childhood (if you aren't still a child, geez), if you were made to feel as though you were ugly while someone else you knew was made to feel beautiful in front of you, instead of you. Search your life for what has triggered this in you and deal with the emotions of it being honest with yourself about it. That should help you start to move past it and into a confident, secure woman when you're complimented and even when you're not.

Be balanced in all things.




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