Could my 14yr old little sister be depressed? What else could it be and how can !
Question: Could my 14yr old little sister be depressed? What else could it be and how can I help her?
I asked a question in the parenting section and I'm now asking in this section because I was hoping to get some more advice and help on what I should do as her big brother.
My little sister moved in with me over Christmas break. She's a cool kid,not much trouble,quite and keeps to herself. But as of late,meaning since the second week in January until now,she hardly ever comes out of her room. She doesn't come out to eat but once out of the whole day and even then she doesn't eat much. She's made friends with some of the other kids in the apartment complex but when they come to get her to go hang out,she always tells them she doesn't want to go and goes back to her room. I've asked her if anything was wrong and I've even offered to take her out to the movies/mall but she still says no and goes to her room.
Is this normal? What should I do?
She goes to school online so she has a computer in her room for that for the people who are wondering about her and school. The computer is a laptop but it's nothing fancy. Enough for her to do all she needs to for school and play some games. There's no camera or anything on her's.
ADDED::::::
I'd love to get her into some sort of sport or something but the reason why she's schooling online is because she's had back problems since birth(complications) so she can't get very active. She's tried before but if she over does it,she ends up hurting a lot. She wanted out of regular school because she couldn't do what everyone else was doing and felt left out.
Oh and as far as sounding happy when she speaks to me,I can't really tell. She's good at hiding her feeling's and sometimes she sounds upset,sometimes she sounds fine. If she does sound upset I ask her if something's wrong or if she wants to talk about it or call our aunt but she always says no.
END OF OTHER QUESTION::::::
I got an array of answers and the ones that spiked my attention were the ones who said to get her interested in(or see what she's already interested in) video games,collecting,taking her out with me and my friends anyway(convincing her to come along,not forcing her). Some also said that she could just be feeling insecure/depressed. I haven't gotten her to just open up to me so I don't really know. Any other suggestions or ideas? If you care to,you can better explain some of the other answers I've gotten or give me suggestions on how to get her to talk about how she's really feeling so I can try and help her.
I just want her to be happy and enjoy life the best way she can,despite all the other stuff she's got going on. She's really smart and is a very special girl but come to think of it I haven't seen her smile in a while.
Answers:
It does sound like she's unhappy and is withdrawing into herself. I'm not really sure what to suggest in terms of activities because I don't know that much about her and her limitations. Have you tried low-impact sports? Like getting her to go swimming, or just something fun like bowling? If you have a disability service in your area, they might have some ideas for activities that won't end up hurting her.
It could be that the movies and the mall are too crowded or loud for her. When I was depressed I found that I was extra sensitive to crowds and noise. There are parks, the zoo, or out of town.. I don't know if you live in a big city, and what 'out of town' consists of for you. When I withdrew from human contact I still found cars rides and nature soothing.
The only other advice I can think to give is to tell her how you feel, that you're worried and that you love her. She's got a champion in you, and maybe you need to play the big brother card and ask her honestly and straight-up what is wrong. Say that you've noticed that she doesn't seem happy, and ask her about it. You may not feel that it's right to 'pry', but she is only 14 and you are her family. When I was not well, my older sister looked after me, and sometimes she was quite firm and told me that I needed to tell her what was wrong so that she could help me. It worked because I loved her as much as she loved me, and I didn't like seeing her worried. She does sound like a great kid, and I wish you the best of luck.
Experience