just some answers thx?!
Question: Just some answers thx?
to keep it going.I have no clue as to why i would want to keep hate harboring in me, and with it came the urge to fight and not just light fighting , just straight brutality i managed to curb that urge, then it seemed after the "fire of hate" died down it was like i just wanted to give in to sad thoughts and bitter feelings and find the most depressing music, or just go die some were.
so what do i do?
Answers:
First of all, you sound depressed.
Go talk to someone! (preferably a counselor or therapist.)
Secondly, you should try to trace back what happened en of January.
There must have been something going on that made you feel this way.
Even if there was nothing significant happening back then, it must have been boiling under the surface a long time. Which means, this has been a problem for a while, but you just never noticed it.
(if not, you might have a mental illness, not trying to scare you, just to be aware)
And at last, it is not weird that you felt like feeding those emotions.
It is perfectly normal (even though other might not see it as normal)
The dangerous thing about depression / feeling of hatred is that it feeds your ego, aka it sort of makes you feel 'good'
I find it hard to explain, but anyone who has been depressed might not want to admit it, but will know it is true. Because that is the whole catch, that is why depression is not easily cured.
Good luck. Do not kill yourself or anything else :)