OK.... really personal and serious question!!!?!

I'm still cutting, so I don't know if I am entirely the best person to advise you. However, I am learning to channel my pain into other things and I am certainly not cutting as deeply as I used to, and believe me, it was deep. Scarring depends on the severity of the wound. Take my scars for example, I practically carved into my thigh and ended up in hospital - I am literally scarred for life. However, my wrists are beginning to fade. My ankles are ridden with scars but I can disguise them and they are not very obvious (they just look discoloured)
I know how you must be feeling, and it is horrible. What I did was focus on the possibility that, however unlikely it seems, that I will be happy one day. Now, no one wants to be parading around the beach with scars all over their body, do they? They are unsightly, and lead to people making assumptions about me.
There is no magic method. Just try and remember, the relief is temporary, but the scars are permanent (try using bio-oil by the way)
Maybe try running your hands under FREEZING water when you feel the need to cut, or flicking an elastic band at your wrist. Perhaps you could channel your urges into something like drawing.
I have started to write a journal. Writing down your feelings helps more than you would think.
Good luck (wish me look too; I have COMPULSORY therapy at school tomorrow because the nurse saw my scars F*CK.)

Hello. When I was younger I used to have some ridiculously awful self harm habits but now I've stopped completely. The best thing you could do would be to tell people, this way people will take notice if there are any fresh cuts and may subconsciously make you stop gradually as you too are aware that they're looking at what you're doing.

The best thing for scars is a thing called Bio Oil which I used. It's available in most chemists.


Keep me updated lovely! Xx

Previous self harmer

I understand your frustration, I cut to rid myself of pain. When I cut and saw blood oozing out it made me feel as though the pain was leaving and I had control over what was going on. I haven't cut in several years. The scars are still there. They have faded but have not gone totally away. I'm sorry that you are going through such turmoil. May you find comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

What is with this cutting craze? It's only in the last 10 years that teenagers have been doing it.

You need a plan; you need to think - and I mean REALLY think - about what is making you feel so miserable because only when you know exactly who or what is making you feel this way will you be able to do something about it, at the moment you're not doing anything at all to help yourself.

(edit: Bio-Oil is a scam, it's just a cosmetic)

Its Tough to stop but, throw away the things you use when you have a clear mind, and try your very best to do something like write or draw or talk to a friend.. Also the sooner you stop and get some scar cream the better chance that your scars will fade.

I have scars, dont worry just stop, go out with your ates have a good time!

i only cut occasionally.
cutting can leave its scars for years, depending on how deep the cut is. my wrists and hands are scarred, my manicurist looks at me funny :/

better to feel pain than nothing at all as I say.

I know what you mean about needing to take control of your life and being the one to cause yourself the pain and not others, but honestly they are still hurting you plus you are hurting yourself. You need to find someone you really trust and talk to them. Either a friend, a counselor, your bf if you have one. but you need to be able to confide in someone. just let everything out to them. trust me you will feel so much better when you do. as for the scars they may fade to others, but you will always know they are there. I too am a cutter so i know your pain and i know by the little you have written that you are being abused and you are hiding so much from people. its ok to be afraid, but you cant hide forever. i know you feel ashamed and insecure about what your going through but your not alone and not everyone is going to hurt you or mistreat you. you have to learn to love those that truly love you. open your heart to them and let them in. show them the amazing person you are. DONT LET FEAR RUN YOU LIFE!!!

You know... I hate that feeling too. I had this idea, (cause of stupid health class, belch) that I get counseling. I have done therapy before... and what I have learn that it does nothing, if you share one with a family. But my own personal school consular has helped me when every I had a problem with school, or teachers. Just don't turn to drugs or alcohol cause they are worse. And scars NEVER fade. That is why they are scars... I mean, I guess since you are young they will fade a little but they will always be there. Look, just talk to someone. Try the suicide hotline... and tell me how they work for you. Cause honestly, I don't know what to expect from them.I'm being serious. Or get actually therapy... I am trying to find something myself....

Depending upon the depth and severity of the cut, it can take months or even years to fade away. If they're more shallow, they can go away near-complete within several weeks. But there will always be a vaguely noticeable pink line where the cut used to be.
If you see a therapist or a psychiatrist, there's a medication out there that they can prescribe to cutters. It makes your skin more sensitive so that the cutting is almost too painful to continue with. I don't recall the name, but my old therapist told me about it and offered me the usage of it to stop my cutting. Apparently it was successful for quite a few of her other patients.
You could always snap an elastic band when you feel the urge to cut. It doesn't work for everybody though; just a thought.
A few months ago I decided to ease out of my prolonged phase of cutting, after my brother found out and injured me...kind of ironic, so I started pinching myself and pulling out my hair for a less noticeable kind of pain. It worked for about three weeks.
If you try a variety of multiple techniques one after the other, you may feel the urge to cut slowly dwindle down.
I don't know exactly what to tell you, what advice to give, without sounding like a bullshitting hypocrite. You might want to consider therapy to vent instead of self-mutilate; a good therapist will listen to you, offer advice and coping skills. You have to find out who works well with you.
And if your home situation is that bad - is it? - you might want to stay with another relative and/or move out.
Good luck.

Hey, i've had a pretty crap childhood, and similar to you i used to cut, drink alcohol, etc.. I get where your coming from when you say that you dont want to hurt others so you do that, but really it just makes matters worse. Because like you said its a constant reminder of what isn't a positive thing. Your not in the wrong but i promise cutting solves nothing, and it can get addictive & dangerous. So try to tone it down a little.
But everyone slips up some time or another, so dont beat yourself up about that because we are all human. And most of my scars have gone, i still have one on my leg for about a year ago, but other than that they went.
Here's a website to help speed up the disappearance.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/300141
Oh and bio-oil is apparently pretty good, it gets rid of stretch marks too.
Bit if you can, try talking to someone mature about it, because when i did it felt like a big weight got lifted from my chest x
Best of luck to you.

The Evil Lord Darkclaw, it hasn't been "only in the past ten years", because I did it sixteen years ago.

I admit, there is a "fad" about it right now in some "emo" circles - and as a former and recovering self abuser, it sickens me, both getting my sympathy and undying hatred.

Oh, and I don't have scars, so I can't help you there. But for reducing...

My experience:

I self abused for much the same reason you mention, to "control my environment", and "being the one doing the hurting". It's very addicting, isn't it, especially when you have no other control? And being in pain releases endorphins, so that's just yet another rush, isn't it?

And then you feel awful afterward that you did it... So you do it again...

To quote Antoine de Saint-Exupery and "The Little Prince":

Why do you drink? / To forget. / To forget what? / That I'm a drunk.

Self harm is a SYMPTOM. The only way to "cure" it is to address what's CAUSING it - your feelings of lack of control.

Unfortunately, this is a complex issue and I can't just give you answers over this forum.

Do you have a teacher or guidance counselor at school you trust? They can help you talk with someone, a trained counselor or a doctor specializing in mood disorders, that can help identify your issues.

If you do have a mood disorder (I have Major Depressive Disorder with some Anxiety issues), there are medicines that can help (I'm on Citalopram). But that needs to be done one on one, hopefully with your parents.

Until then, what YOU can do:

Try to "wean" yourself off of the most damaging self abuse. I never went to cutting, mainly because I had a satisfying weapon literally at hand: I used my long finger nails on my inner wrist. I only drew blood a few times, but the intention was the same as if I used a knife.

My suggestion is a rubber band, worn on the wrist and preferably over clothes. You can snap it for a nice little sting, and over cloth it won't cut the skin. Switch wrists if you start to bruise, and if you don't start HEALING from the bruises you know you're doing it too much.

There are other habits and rituals you can do that can get some of the same emotional impact as self abuse. I'd draw the letters of a specific word I'd get in trouble repeating over top of each other, so the "C" counted as the "U" and as the two arms of the "K", which also formed part of the first letter.... It looked harmless, but it let me express my frustration when repeated over and over.

Still use it sometimes.

Now, I don't hurt myself a lot. I still dig my nails into my palms, but that's more a swift reaction, and now I use it to know when I REALLY get frustrated because it's rare enough.

Most frequent, and that's only every couple of days, I slap my inner wrist (I like that inner wrist abuse....) Kinda like the rubber band, only milder.

I also used to pinch. I just realized I don't do that so much anymore...

So, to summarize:

Get rid of the cutting objects. Not only do you get scars, but you have a risk of infection. To be safe, trim your nails, too. Just be careful with THAT, and do it when you're feeling ok.

Find something that causes a SATISFYING pain. We're changing a habit, you need to start with something that you will USE, unfortunately. Limit yourself to bruises. Do NOT layer bruises.

Recognize that self abuse is a SYMPTOM, and not a treatment. Oh, wait, you already did that. You're smart! ^-^

Talk to someone about what's really causing your problems.

Talk to someone WITH TRAINING about what's causing your problems. Learn about REAL treatments.

Be open to the treatments. There are many out there, you should be able to find something that YOU are comfortable with and HELPS you.

Use treatments that have been tested, ok? Anything your doctor would prescribe has been tested to government standards and has KNOWN side effects. Anything found in the health food aisle ISN'T government tested - it might help, but we can't be as sure of the side effects.

Yes, there are examples of drugs we later learn have more side effects. There are a LOT more "herbal" and "homeopathic" remedies we learn either have EVEN MORE side effects (Like, you know, mercury poisoning), or proven not to work.

Oh, and the last thing?

Love yourself. It's hard. It's taken me over 15 years where thinking that doesn't make me feel guilty. But you know what, I'm at that point. And I have the rest of my life to be even better!

So do you. ^-^

Peace, love, and self control.

30 year old, diagnosis with Major Depressive Disorder at 16, currently on SSRI medication, doing very well with treatment, Bachelor of Applied Science in Family Studies