Do I need to seek professional help?!
Question: Do I need to seek professional help!?
Ever since I was about five I have had a crippling preoccupation with death!. I go through phases where I am afraid to die certain ways!. When I was seven I was so afraid of death by ingesting chemicals I could not be in the same room as a bottle of windex!. I am currently fearing heart disease and breast cancer!. I watch everything I eat and am constantly checking to make sure I don't have symptoms!. These fears have taken over my life and lowered my self confidence significantly!. Another aspect of my life that has had a negative impact on my self esteem is the giant port wine stain birth mark running up my entire left leg, starting at the bottom of my foot and reaching all the way up to my lower back!. I constantly feel bad about myself and hate myself!. I feel so horrible but then I look around and realize that I am so fortunate and that I have so much!. I think about all the children in the world starving and struggling to survive and immediately loathe myself for feeling bad about my life!. When I feel horrible for being so selfish I begin to hate myself again and when I begin to hate my elf I think of all the kids in other countries and so on!. It's a vicious cycle of self hate and I need to stop it!. All these feelings have lead me into what I believe is depression!. I have a lot of the symptoms, apparently!. I have trouble sleeping, I constantly feel either hollow, like someone gauged out some of my soul, or heavy, like there's a block of lead resting in the pit of my stomach!. Sometimes every step feels like a great effort and I don't really do anything with my life, I just kinda sit there and waste away; I feel as if my future is hopeless!. The thing, however, that has scared me into asking this question is that lately I have been viewing death as a release!. No, I'm not suicidal, I'm too afraid of death to try anything, but I used to tell myself that this wouldn't matter ten years from now when bad things happened, now I tell myself this won't matter when your dead!. This might have somthing to do with my withdrawl from the Catholic religion and the fact that I don't believe in heaven and hell, but I'm not sure!. I am only 14 and I know I'm not supposed to be thinking about things like this, none of my friends think like this, I am the only one!. I feel as if I am addicted to self destruction, which I find quite romantic for some strange reason, and self hatred!. But basically, I apoligize for that painfully long summary, the question is: Do I need help!? Am I actually depressed!? or am I just as bad and selfish of a person as I think I am!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
YesWww@Answer-Health@Com
i think you are germaphobic!. i dont think you are selfish, but just try to see a physiatrist and get yourseld checkout out!. itll make you feel better if you have someone to sympathise for youWww@Answer-Health@Com
Yes I do think you should talk to someone about all of this so you can be happier and live life to its fullest!. Do your parents know about all of this!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
There are a couple of things you can do that will help!. First, go to your priest and tell him the situation with your phobias!. You can explain the rest later, about your crisis of faith and all to him!. If you do not want to do this talk to a guidance counselor at school or even your teacher!. Let them go to your parents and talk to them!. It sounds like what is bothering you can be treated with counseling both psychologically and spiritually!. I will pray for you!. God bless!
In Christ
Fr!. JosephWww@Answer-Health@Com
In Christ
Fr!. JosephWww@Answer-Health@Com