What am i going to do ? am i permanently ruined in life? are my goals unattainab!
Question: iam a 30 year old borderline personality disorderer and ptsd sufferer, ive suffered tremendously throughout my life......ive missed out and i feel life has passed me by and people have moved on without me.
im very lonely, ive built up no social support network in my life - never formed any relationships , ever.
ive never been employed or gained any qualifications. ever.
i battle with rage feelings - paranoia that everyone is against me and are plotting to ruin my life - high levels of panic and anxiety.
years ago i used to have rage outbursts and i caused myself to be physically attacked and publically humiliated many times, laughed at & pointed at.
i dont have outburst anymore and have improved greatly with my rage- when i go out though, theres a vibe in the air, people have been aloof and stand-offish for a while now, but ive tried to ignore it....because of this im getting the impression alot of people dont like me..
i feel singled out, ostracized, picked on.
Answers: iam a 30 year old borderline personality disorderer and ptsd sufferer, ive suffered tremendously throughout my life......ive missed out and i feel life has passed me by and people have moved on without me.
im very lonely, ive built up no social support network in my life - never formed any relationships , ever.
ive never been employed or gained any qualifications. ever.
i battle with rage feelings - paranoia that everyone is against me and are plotting to ruin my life - high levels of panic and anxiety.
years ago i used to have rage outbursts and i caused myself to be physically attacked and publically humiliated many times, laughed at & pointed at.
i dont have outburst anymore and have improved greatly with my rage- when i go out though, theres a vibe in the air, people have been aloof and stand-offish for a while now, but ive tried to ignore it....because of this im getting the impression alot of people dont like me..
i feel singled out, ostracized, picked on.
I feel the same way i have driven out of my career by beast and wrongly denied unemployment what keeps me goin along with medication and my mostly online friends is a determination not to let this piles of rubbish keep me down
U want to leave where u are i want to stay where i am but not being permitted to work may drive me back to the stinking city where i dont want to be :((
u shoulf be proud og urself for comtroling the rages when my umemployment was denied i yelled threw stuff and had to take pills to come back to earth
mate I'm going through what your going through i want to move away, but posting the same question on yahoo answers every other day ain't gonna get you there, like i said yesterday move to the next town across start over fresh there, meet new people explain your problem when a friendship builds up and learn to trust others, this is what I'm planning to do and I AM going to do by the end of this year, only you can do it mate
Why dont you just up and leave the country. You need to sort out your anger fix up and think about what IS attainable in your life and set some realistic goals.
You have good reason to be angry it sounds like to me!! Just because many people cannot relate to your issues does not mean that they should be so scared of you. You seem quite intelligent and probably are much more complicated than they will ever understand or relate to.
You write really well despite what you say about not having any qualifications. Maybe you could write for a newsletter that talks about things people ought to be mad at such as globalization, expensive non-essential wars in Iraq, overpriced healthcare, child trafficking... you see what I'm getting at???
What top 5 things TICK you off the most??? Write about those issues because I'll bet there are others who are feeling the same somewhere!
I'm sure there is a newsletter (eg IndyMedia . org) that you can identify with!! That is what I did not long ago. I searched for a volunteer opportunity in order to make an outlet for my rage. I am now co-editor and treasurer of a local indymedia! and have been asked to run the radio for a show that airs anti-corporate topics just because i was well spoken and passionate about espressing my rage over injustices that most people ignore.
Good Luck - I believe there is a place for your voice
For a start if you are feeling paranoid you should see the doctor and get something diagnosed. No one should be living in the squalor you describe, if you have a condition that is preventing you from working you should be in reciept of a Disability Living Allowance or something similar (although they are getting pretty tough these days) even with your condition you should still be able to have relationships, perhaps explain to people from the begining about the way you feel. I would hope that there are still some sympathetic people in the world. I fear that your isolation would only perpetuate the problem and you need to get out there and fight it. If you have had bad experiences I guess this was when you are younger, your peers should be more mature now. Perhaps start doing a part time course as a step towards a fuller life. Good luck!
Right mate it's like this. Don't think, just do it! So you've been a bit of an emabarrassment to yourself in the past, now people don't know how to take you. People are a lot nicer than you may think, but they also like people to be nice with them.
All those people are doin the thing that you're too frightened to do. Everyday, every moment we are in public, we're braving it. Everyone of us. We just do it. Now it's your turn !
Just don't give a damn about peoples talking and whisperring.
Best thing you could do for yourself right now?
Passport, cash, ticket, holiday.
Don't think, just do it. Now. Best wishes.