Help! What do I say when i meet new people? (lack of confidence)?!
Question: I am just awful at meeting new people. Whenever i do i either just keep myself to myself or say something to someone i know next to me that i hope will either impress the "new" person next to me or just make them go away all together.
I go out of my way sometimes just so i don't have to talk to someone i don't know.
I see people sometimes that just find it so easy talking to new people and i SO want to be like that! I'm so talkative when i'm with people i know and people i am comfertable with.
So my 3 questions are....
1) Is this due to lack of confidence?
2) Are there any tips from anyone about how to make myself just talk to people and be easy around them?
3) What sould i talk about if i actually get to that stage?
Thank you.
xx
Answers: I am just awful at meeting new people. Whenever i do i either just keep myself to myself or say something to someone i know next to me that i hope will either impress the "new" person next to me or just make them go away all together.
I go out of my way sometimes just so i don't have to talk to someone i don't know.
I see people sometimes that just find it so easy talking to new people and i SO want to be like that! I'm so talkative when i'm with people i know and people i am comfertable with.
So my 3 questions are....
1) Is this due to lack of confidence?
2) Are there any tips from anyone about how to make myself just talk to people and be easy around them?
3) What sould i talk about if i actually get to that stage?
Thank you.
xx
You sound like me before I had some CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.) I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety disorder and I had it bad! CBT is something you can also teach yourself at home, there are lots of books about it and information online. Asking people questions about themselves can also be a good way to cope with situations. Remember, all the thoughts you think people are having, they aren't. Be yourself and if you think someone is thinking negatively about you ask yourself, wheres the evidence? And also remember it is totally ok to mess up or be shy or not get on with everyone!
when you see someone try a wuts up where you from or i like your shoes where did you get those from
Say "hi" and just talk about what's on your mind!!
Well, I am a huge people person but I still avoid people sometimes. People I know, people I don't know, people that I have a history of having an awkward silence with.. Part of it maybe due to a lack of confidence but some it maybe just be that you don't really know what to say.
I have really found that the best thing you can do is SMILE to make people feel comfortable around you and ask other people questions to make them do all the talking. Ask questions like "what, how, tell me" so they can't just answer "yeah, no, good, uh huh".. they actually have to respond with a "i feel like this about it, or well i usually do this because.." they are good conversation starters and ways of finding what you have in common.
Hope that helps. Remember to smile :)
Hi am a bit shy so bare with me ask me any thing???
I used to be the same way. Still am sometimes. Anyway, you might comment on something the person is wearing, or find something in whatever environment you happen to be in and make conversation about something in it. You can tell a joke or say something humorous. A " prop " can be a good thing. I sometimes carry antique photos in my pocket. I then whip them out, and often while I'm looking at them, someone will ask me about them. Anything to get things started. That's the main thing, whatever you can think of to " get the ball rolling "...
A smile goes a long way, a smile while you look the person straight in the eye and hold their gaze for a moment. You could add a nod or if you feel like it say, "Hi" or "nice to meet you" or "how's it going". Don't push yourself too much. It should come naturally or it will ring false and you will feel fake.
Most important is an open expression, eye contact and being relaxed. One of the most attractive, mysterious and magnetic woman I ever met was basically always silent. But she looked at you straight on with the sweetest smile. That was all she needed to be - herself.
Question: why do you feel you HAVE to talk to people you don't know? That sounds unnatural to me. Talk to people who appear interesting to you.
You're probably just shy, or afraid of rejection; or It could lack of self cofidence as well. If you are friendly by nature, all you have to do is smile and innitiate a conversation by introducing yourself.
Find something the two of you have in common and discuss it.
It sounds like your not very confident with talking, but don't fret! Keep trying and you might think you sound awkward and weird, but it'll help you in the long run!
First thing: Smile! Not full on teeth, but a small smile that shows your welcoming. And don't forget to listen! Just mind your own business, but keep your ears alert.
A good way to start up conversations at a party is to grab something from the food table, and if your standing next to the person, question what kind of meat is on display, or ask the person if they know what kind of dip is on display. Also, be comfortable and relaxed, talking to a stressed person can be uncomfortable.
When you get to that stage (and you will) just talk about casual stuff. If you feel comfortable with a friend, go with them (or drag them along).
So don't worry! You'll get the wing of conversations!