Anger issues???!
Question: hi recently i'm losing my temper alot, i can feel blood boiling in my stomach (not literally of course), i get to the point hwere i just wanna smash something up or hurt someone! i've always known under deep down that i have atemper, but its never really shown itself. till now. Anyway my main concern is that my mother was very violent when we were kids, i don't have kids yet but i'm worried i'll become like her and get voilent if i can't control my temper! i would like some sort of anger management but i have nooo idea where to start, i live in uk and i'm 26.
what do you think i should do? how can i learn to stop that woosh!
thanks
xx
Answers: hi recently i'm losing my temper alot, i can feel blood boiling in my stomach (not literally of course), i get to the point hwere i just wanna smash something up or hurt someone! i've always known under deep down that i have atemper, but its never really shown itself. till now. Anyway my main concern is that my mother was very violent when we were kids, i don't have kids yet but i'm worried i'll become like her and get voilent if i can't control my temper! i would like some sort of anger management but i have nooo idea where to start, i live in uk and i'm 26.
what do you think i should do? how can i learn to stop that woosh!
thanks
xx
go see a therapist. its the best possible thing for you (and your future kids). the worst thing you could do is ignore your problem. itll just keep coming up if you do. now you've taken the first step: admitting it. take the next step: go see a therapist and nip this problem in the bud.
Talk with your doctor. These feelings could also be a red flag for some type of anxiety disorder. They may be able to medicate you to keep you under control. You should also be asked to referred to a shrink- it will help you cope with the feelings you have from your mothers troubles.
I also share your problem and commend you for recognizing it and having a desire to do something about it. I have had anger issues since childhood exacerbated by a bad marriage. Unfortunately, I have passed this problem onto my 8 year old son who is even more explosive and stubborn than I am, and I deeply regret this. I wish I could point you in the right direction and apologize for not providing you with a place to start. I live in the US. If I were to ever get serious about my problem I might start by reading as much as I could on the subject, beginning with whatever I could find on the computer about this subject. Hopefully, you will get some better answers than mine, but I wish you good luck. It also doesn't hurt to pray!
There are a lot of good books out there. Keep searching.
Try not to make other peoples problems yours. You emotions are yours just as mine are mine...
We were given the gift of life and our emotions came with it.
Any normal, reasonable & prudent person seeks happiness and peace. These are positives. Fear, anger, jealousy, hatred and the likes are negatives.
Discover yourself and learn why you choose to feel the negatives...learn to feed the positives within you and let go of the negatives.
I give mine up to God and the Universe. It is never ending but when I open my heart, it is like a certain amount of negative is emptied making more room for His Love...I then feel happier and able to stay foccused on the real issues...Prayer and meditation are great for this.
If you can not master it and lose control, Always call a time out and GO TO YOUR ROOM. Tell the kids you are taking a break...
In the end...I think you will find your anger will arise when you face changes in time and actions that are not in your control even though you thought you were...
If you find as you raise your kids and old memories come back that are negative..."let them go" and do not allow yourself to overcompensate with your kids for what you did not have...let them grow and learn for who they are, not what you want them to be...
GOOD LUCK