How can I make her not think of me as weak?!
Question: I went to college 18 months ago but hated it, I got depression. My gf at the time kept writing to me asking how I was but I ignored her for a year, then when I finally replied I told her to leave me alone. Believe me it was for her own good, I was suicidal and I cared about her and wanted her to get on with her life at a new college happily. When I was reasonable enough to talk to her without worrying her, 2 months ago, I wrote to her and she said I was 'dead' to her. We spoke in person soon after but she was so angry at me that she was just terrible, I was still fragile and tired, so I had to come clean with the real reason, that I was suicidal and didn't want to worry her. Anything for her to not be so angry at me, I thought. Now though she doesn't hate me, but she seems to look at me with pity and motherly instincts, rather than the affection and love she used to have for me. In what ways can I change the way she sees me and appear strong and recovered to her?
Answers: I went to college 18 months ago but hated it, I got depression. My gf at the time kept writing to me asking how I was but I ignored her for a year, then when I finally replied I told her to leave me alone. Believe me it was for her own good, I was suicidal and I cared about her and wanted her to get on with her life at a new college happily. When I was reasonable enough to talk to her without worrying her, 2 months ago, I wrote to her and she said I was 'dead' to her. We spoke in person soon after but she was so angry at me that she was just terrible, I was still fragile and tired, so I had to come clean with the real reason, that I was suicidal and didn't want to worry her. Anything for her to not be so angry at me, I thought. Now though she doesn't hate me, but she seems to look at me with pity and motherly instincts, rather than the affection and love she used to have for me. In what ways can I change the way she sees me and appear strong and recovered to her?
Hey you were honest in the end and that shows your a bigger man than most, she should appreciate that. Plus you have her back in your life and if she really cares for you she'll come back completely.
Edit - At the moment though love you need to concentrate on getting yourself back on track and you'll find that everything else will just fall into place.
You kind of put a barrier on your relationship that will be nearly impossible to get through, I suggest either find another girl or wait for her to try to contact you.
well i would tell her how you feel about it and how you feel that she is treating you diffrent
first pray to god to give you strength and pray for your gf's heart. talk to her seriously. talk about your relationship and compromise whichever things you (both) want to change and deal. then be a man of words. walk your talk, when you say something do it. spend more time with her when you can. show her your effort. when both of you needs to decide on something, talk to each other to get each other's opinion. the guy should decide after weighing each other's opinion. always make a win-win decision, for both of you to have satisfaction. always be on her side whenever she needs you.
Sorry bout that m8 i was like tht with my ex an i got relli sick an lost her as a gf coz she thorght i was weak an she was just lookin after mean i couldnt stand it i just wanted her to be happy i got relli deressed over it an i just wanted to be friends with her an ide bein self harming for a bit and she knoked on to it an ile use an expression "killed me"
an i was just gettin better when she broke me heart ime still sorta in recovery but what ime trying to say is u carnt force somebody to love you you need to focus on why she fell in love with u and try to bring THAT bk be nice to her take her places and focus on you friendship before u make a move.
good lucks
be strong, face up to facts and be honest, dont hide things away, if you have a problem or something bothers you, challenge it head on and resolve whatever it may be, seek advice, talk, listen, take charge of your life and current situation. the rest will follow. once she sees you are capable of looking after yourself she'll reconsider. the fact that she was mad at you and that she cares now still shows she's a good person. go get her ;)
Well first off get some help, let her see you are getting help for your depression and then move on. If she keeps up the motherly stuff it is just going to drive you nuts. Your best bet is to actually get strong again in mind and spirit! You dont need her, you just need yourself right now.
First of all you hurt her feelings and she won't get over that for awhile. How would you feel if she had done that to you ? You would have went on with your life and possibly met someone else. Life is too short to play games take it one day at a time and Thank God she even talks to you.Best Wishes
Just sit down and explain things to her. She'll understand.
The problem with mental illness is that people never know how to react to it in someone else, and so she probably just wants to protect you. In a way, thats not a bad thing, because there will always be part of you that will be "vulnerable" to depression, and thats when she'll be a great help.
but just explain to her that things are different now, and that youre a lot better. you appreciate her support and concern, but want to be able to move on from this, and she needs to help you do that.
hope this makes some sense. good luck