Social anxiety, nervousness?!
Question: ok so i've been going to a therapist for social anxiety, but its pointless. i feel like its not realistic, and it just all this crap about telling you how you feel and how to be optomistic about things. im just looking for a way to be able to talk to people and know what to say to have a conversation with people and be fun around ppl, like i am when im drunk. part of me feels like i have a problem, but the other part of me doesnt because i feel like its the real me in my thoughts, but my actions are different than what im feeling in my head.and i hate feeling like i have to act around everyone, even though im not doing it on purpose. in my head, im not all nervous as much as i am on the outside. like recently i went to soccer tryouts and did really good and made varsity, but now that varsity doesnt practive with jv, i feel like i really suck because i get so nervous like idk what im doing.
i dont have any friends,just acquaintenses at school. idk what to do anymore.life f*cking sucks
Answers: ok so i've been going to a therapist for social anxiety, but its pointless. i feel like its not realistic, and it just all this crap about telling you how you feel and how to be optomistic about things. im just looking for a way to be able to talk to people and know what to say to have a conversation with people and be fun around ppl, like i am when im drunk. part of me feels like i have a problem, but the other part of me doesnt because i feel like its the real me in my thoughts, but my actions are different than what im feeling in my head.and i hate feeling like i have to act around everyone, even though im not doing it on purpose. in my head, im not all nervous as much as i am on the outside. like recently i went to soccer tryouts and did really good and made varsity, but now that varsity doesnt practive with jv, i feel like i really suck because i get so nervous like idk what im doing.
i dont have any friends,just acquaintenses at school. idk what to do anymore.life f*cking sucks
hey, itll be alright.
I know how soccer is, I play too.
You have got to believe that you are good, even if you are having an off day.
You MUST have some skill if you made varsity.
As for acting around people,
just try and be yourself.
f*ck what people think, its not worth it to let people control you with what they think. The friends thing, just hang out with people. Chilllllll. Relax, it will be okay.
I know how you feel about life sucking,
but you have got to stay positive, itll get better.
I emailed you, reply if you want to keep talking .
Chelsie,
You clearly need a new therapist. An anxiety disorder is definitely fixable. You may need a medication for awhile - or not. The key is to find the source of the anxiety, i.e. what caused it in the first place, and then some behavioral therapy to change behavior and then some cognitive therapy to change how you think about things!!! Ha! This can easily be accomplished with a GOOD therapist in about 3-5 sessions! Whew! Change therapists!
i have the same problem.. i didnt always use to be like this but after i got out of rehab i just had really bad anxiety and my mind doesnt shut off. im always thinking even if i try not too... im gonna start yoga... i think that might help a bit.
Well I don't know what type of therapy you're doing, but perhaps your therapist can refer you to a psychopharmacologist or psychiatrist who may need to prescribe you something if your anxiety is severe.
I do think that if your therapist is ineffective, then maybe you need another one. Sometimes getting a 'chipper' attitude isn't enough to overcome anxiety. And definitely there is something unconscious going on if you feel that you are more fun drinking v. sober.
It sounds like you are good at soccer, so definitely keep going and push yourself to get better. Everyone has different social personality levels (take the Myers Briggs personality test online) so you just maybe an introverted person who prefers to do things one-on-one.
If you want, and your therapist is trained in neuropsych evaluation, have him/her do some evaluations of your personality style. You may be surprised that you aren't that unusual after all.
You will have to control your habits and also eating habits. Go for walk daily and take exercise. Mental exercise which I mean "Yoga". You will have better results. Good Luck
I've had the same problem before. It was really hard for me to interact with people because I used to be "conscious" about myself. Gladly, there's this one time when I need to SING in front of like thousands of people in a gymnasium. My voice teacher taught me this:
"Don't feel too confident nor feel too afraid."
And I'm happy to spread that word to people like you. Imagine yourself like you're just talking to someone you really know that you don't care how stupid you will look or sound in front of him. Better off, when speaking to the public, imagine as if they're ghosts or stones. They won't do you harm no matter what happens. Their intention is to hear your opinion, not to laugh at you. Don't focus on your insecurities, focus on your strengths!
Before, I really have this feeling that it's a hard thing to do. And I have the impression that nothing can change me. But now, I just laugh at my old self. I never knew it's as easy as eating a cake! I'm sure you'll overcome this. Good luck!
Yes, I have the same problem. I wish that I could feel comfortable around people. I can't even enjoy myself at a party and I have no idea what to say to people half of the time. I'm currently not seeing a therapist. I haven't even told anybody how I feel. No one knows how nervous I get in social situations. My brother has had social anxiety for years and I've seen how worried my parents are about him, so I don't want to tell them how I'm feeling. I did buy this book though called the shyness and social anxiety workbook, and that made me feel a bit better reading that. It tells you about cognitive therapy, how to relax, small talk with people, etc.