Did I give myself a mental disorder?!
Question: Lets start out with the past.
I was molsted for a looong time as a child. I have never really gotten over it at all. When I was 18 I tried to kill myself (which is dumb I know, but I learned my lesson.) I had a lot of rumors spread about me at school. I guess you can say the typical sad teenage drama crap. I use to cut myself terribly.
But now I have not had any lots of suicide in 2 years same with cutting. Then of course my Ex Fiance broke up with me, and told me he never loved me. I got so depressed I actually stopped eating. I went from 120lbs to 99lbs.
Now Its been 8 months since I stopped eating. I go through phases though. I won't eat or eat 1 sandwitch for like 4 days, and then all of a sudden I'll binge eat.
I never thought it could be annorexia because I never thought I was fat or anything.
Any help from anyone? someting to help myself or just to tell me if I actaully drove myself into a disoreder because I had stopped me other ways of dealing with pain?
Answers: Lets start out with the past.
I was molsted for a looong time as a child. I have never really gotten over it at all. When I was 18 I tried to kill myself (which is dumb I know, but I learned my lesson.) I had a lot of rumors spread about me at school. I guess you can say the typical sad teenage drama crap. I use to cut myself terribly.
But now I have not had any lots of suicide in 2 years same with cutting. Then of course my Ex Fiance broke up with me, and told me he never loved me. I got so depressed I actually stopped eating. I went from 120lbs to 99lbs.
Now Its been 8 months since I stopped eating. I go through phases though. I won't eat or eat 1 sandwitch for like 4 days, and then all of a sudden I'll binge eat.
I never thought it could be annorexia because I never thought I was fat or anything.
Any help from anyone? someting to help myself or just to tell me if I actaully drove myself into a disoreder because I had stopped me other ways of dealing with pain?
You do not drive yourself into a disorder. It can be caused by many things, mental illness and experiences. No one wants to experience the pain you are going through at the moment, it's not your fault.
I was bought up in a very violent home and was taken off my parents for my own safety. I was put in a childrens home and got rapped on three seperate occations from the age of seven. I ended up doing the suiside attempts on a couple of occasions and became very heavely involved with drugs. I learnt over the years It is not our fault and the things people do to you is their problem. While you think you have done things to yourself you are giving other people power over you. I got my life back on track when my first son was born. After ten years of marrage my wife left me and took the kids. I to was devestated like you are about your break up. She expected me to fall apart a bit like you are going through. I was determined she would be wrong and I would not let her have that power over me.
Go get some proffesional help. Try to stay away from medication though. There are councellers and support groups. Start off going to your doctor and he can refere you to a counceller and he would know of the support groups you need.Be strong and get the help you need.
Just to let you know I am now 51 have just gone through a second marrage break up. But I am proud to be a survivour. Thats what you need to be a survivour, just to show those people who try to hurt you along the way.
All the best
you just need to forget the past... yea I been there done that ive got my scars to prove it. its tough but once you realize what youre worth you are like a whole new person. If you need someone to talk to you can email me i will listen to everything.
you sound like youve been through a lot and have made it this far so youre doing pretty good to begin with. i think all that together would make you the way you are and youre not pushing it upon yourself. though there are ways you can help yourself. focus on YOU and not pleasing anyone else. thats what i did. its not your fault at all/
In all honesty, I would seek professional help from a doctor referral or similar as it's not an easy thing to fix on your own. Talking to someone might just help and if you've got someoone you can trust that makes a world of difference.
You didn't 'drive yourself' into a disorder. You have reached out for a way to deal with the pain in your life. It isn't a healthy way of dealing but then, with what little you have mentioned of your past I don't think you were ever in a position to learn healthy ways. You have done your best to cope and whether the ways you have done so are good or bad doesn't really matter. They worked, or you wouldn't be here now.
It is possible to develop anorexia without ever thinking that you were fat. Weight loss is a common trigger but it's not the only cause for an eating disorder. I don't know if you are anorexic or not, but clearly you have a disordered eating pattern. I think you have correctly identified your painful feelings as the reasons for this.
What you need to do now is to go and get yourself some help. You developed this disorder to help you cope but there are other, better ways of coping. some of us, those who where never able to learn these ways growing up need to be taught them now. We struggle to do that by ourselves. So please, seek some help and support for yourself and please don't blame yourself. You didn't chose to make yourself ill.
to me, it seems like your suffering from depression. This is a real meant disorder. What your symptoms are, it fits. Depression can be treated .
No, you did not give yourself a mental disorder. The not eating and cutting, suicidal tendancies, I believe are from being depressed.