I Need some help please?!
Question: My grandmother, mimi, died 2 months ago, and it just hit me that she is gone for ever. and im so sad and mad that i cant stand it. i feel so guilty. the last few days before she was dying (at home btw) she was in the hospital and my other friend, who was hit by a car, was there too. well i focused more on seeing him than on seeing her and that was the last time i could ever really talk to her. i had no idea that was the last time i could ever talk to her. and i hate myself i really hate my self for not spending more time with her because this friend turned out to be a total freaking jerk. and im so so so mad and sad...i have no idea wat to do. help me please...i need help!! and im blaming him and me and jeeez some one please help me...
Answers: My grandmother, mimi, died 2 months ago, and it just hit me that she is gone for ever. and im so sad and mad that i cant stand it. i feel so guilty. the last few days before she was dying (at home btw) she was in the hospital and my other friend, who was hit by a car, was there too. well i focused more on seeing him than on seeing her and that was the last time i could ever really talk to her. i had no idea that was the last time i could ever talk to her. and i hate myself i really hate my self for not spending more time with her because this friend turned out to be a total freaking jerk. and im so so so mad and sad...i have no idea wat to do. help me please...i need help!! and im blaming him and me and jeeez some one please help me...
I can feel your anger and sadness, I believe that you are grieving for your grandmother. At least some of what you are feeling is a part of the grieving process. I really think that you should see a psychiatrist or a counselor to help you process these feelings that you are having and deal with them appropriately.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your grandmother.
What do you want help with? There's nothing you CAN do. You can't go back in time. But really, it's not like she didn't know you loved her. I'm sure she understood. This is something you are just going to have to live with. That means that you can either just get over it and accept the fact that she knew you loved her and it's not really a big deal, OR you can live the rest of your life feeling guilty for something that really doesn't matter.
Do yourself a favor, and just pray that you are with her when you are both passed on.
the best thing to do is to forgive yourself and not beat yourself up about it, this happened to me, here's my story:
when my grandfather died in china and i was here in canada, the only thing he asked for is to see me, i was his only grandson, right before he died, he used up all his savings to try to get some money for me to come back to china to see him one more time but he was scammed by a person. i felt so bad and cried every night for about a week and maybe more... but i later on i said to myself, this sh*t happens, i can't control it, people die.
im really sorry that your grand mother died, sitting there and mope about it is bad, what I am doing is using my personal experience to benfit others, it makes you feel that the one that's passes away is proud of what your doing
First you need to understand that she was so sick, I am sure she didn't realize who was visiting and who wasn't. Same things happened to my grandma.
Just because you were not there doesn't mean you didn't love her. She was old and wise and knows that you loved her even if you were not there. She would never blame you for anything, so don't blame yourself. She loved you so much, and if she knew that you were upset over this she would tell you to not be. Relax, close your eyes and when you are ready she'll visit you in your dreams. :)
Sorry to hear about your grandma. But you say you didn't know how sick she was, so don't keep beating yourself up about it. You're gonna make yourself sick and feeling guilty can't undo things. I'm sure grandma and your family would not want you to become physically ill over an honest mistake.