Please help my dad cant talk.?!
Question: he is 51 and im 16 me and my mom talk deeply sometimes, but my dad never learned how to. he has the im too cool personality and always tries to crack immature jokes. i think he is afraid to show weakness. anyway he is really depressed but tries to cover it and act as if everything was fine. please help its killing me inside.
Answers: he is 51 and im 16 me and my mom talk deeply sometimes, but my dad never learned how to. he has the im too cool personality and always tries to crack immature jokes. i think he is afraid to show weakness. anyway he is really depressed but tries to cover it and act as if everything was fine. please help its killing me inside.
Are you more concerned about the fact that he can't talk with YOU or that he doesn't talk much at all? In other words, are you sad because you aren't getting what you feel like you need from him or are you worried that he may need some help that he's not getting? Your response would be different depending on the nature of your concern.
If you feel like you just want him to talk more with YOU and he doesn't know how, try doing things with him that you know he likes. As a woman I have discovered that often men talk more freely when they are side-by-side with someone rather than face-to-face. So go for a walk with him or a car ride (even just to do errands) and pick a topic you feel like you need help with and ask him then. Don't make the first topic too heavy, he may freak out!
If your concern is that your Dad may need professional help, go through your Mom for this. She's obviously someone you feel comfortable with. If she can't or won't or she can't seem to get through to him, perhaps the two of you together can approach him, in a loving, non-threatening way, to tell him you've noticed he's sad and you're very concerned for him and you'd like him to see a doctor or therapist to get some help.
Many people even today feel ashamed that they are depressed, like they should just shake it off or something, but if you can't, it's time to get help, and the people who love you are the ones to help nudge you to do that.
You're a courageous, compassionate young person to seek out help for your Dad and seek to improve your relationship with him; many people in your situation would just write him off.
All I can advise is spend time with him and try to make small chit chat. Talk about school, anything.
give him a pen or pencil and a sheet of paper so he can write it down if he cant talk.
Dude u eally didn't explain it properly i dunno all i can make senseof it is that your dad is immature and you don't like it sorry but add more detail mate then i cfan answer properly
If he doesn't talk much then you really don't know him very well. I know what it's like. I'm 50 and my dad's 75. I don't know him very well, either. He didn't talk much when I was growing up and he doesn't talk much now.
I would suggest spending more time with him. Tell him personal things about yourself, your hopes, your dreams, your problems, ask for his advice, ask for his opinions. In short, get to know him better. Don't be pushy but pay attention to what he says. Maybe he doesn't think he knows YOU well enough to "cry on your shoulder", or that you're mature enough to handle that. Do NOT interrogate him.
Be his friend.
ah...the male ego.
thats just how it is.
some guys think they're still the hunters and providers of the family, they cover up their sensitivity with stupid jokes.
some just don't wanna feel vulnerable to others, especially to their family.
just tell him to stop putting up the act and let you in because it's really important to you to help him out even though he acts like he's fine.
Do things to make him laugh - constantly. If you have friends over, make him laugh - He needs to feel relaxed. Also, ask him for advice - on anything. Make him feel important so that he has a sense of self-worth - he may just feel like he can't do anything for anyone.
Watch tv with him, babble at him. Babble about anything :) The color socks you wore today and why you wore them, the ugly dress in the clothing store, what you think of the new HDTVs that are out, just anything.
The goal is make him feel wanted, appreciated, needed, and respected. Don't give up.. he needs you.
In my experience, many adult males have difficulty expressing their emotions except anger and I am male.They find opening up a sign of weakness. I think it goes back to the days when man was a hunter-gatherer. Ask your mom her opinion and if she agrees with you, then maybe your dad should seek professional help.