PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE MOTHER...Need advice on how to have a relationship with her..!
Question: She's 64...a classic text book case Passive Aggressive woman. I recently set up strict, clear boundaries with her regarding calling me and coming over without calling, just to "see her grandchildren, just bringing over some candy".
Anyone of you have a P/A Mother? Please share coping ideas with me! Is it possible to get along with someone like this? Thanks in advance!
Answers: She's 64...a classic text book case Passive Aggressive woman. I recently set up strict, clear boundaries with her regarding calling me and coming over without calling, just to "see her grandchildren, just bringing over some candy".
Anyone of you have a P/A Mother? Please share coping ideas with me! Is it possible to get along with someone like this? Thanks in advance!
Oh yes, there is a definitive way to deal with these people. First reassure them that you love them but cannot allow them to control your life. Once you have set the boundaries and it sounds like you have. Tell them you have no choice but to ignore their selfish behavior, that is clearly what it is. and you should have no regrets when proceeding with your own life as you wish. I am sorry, I know you must love your mother, and clearly you should. But, how can you live a life with her firmly in control of your well being. Take control. Remind her that you are an adult and continue to make the choices that are right for you, all the while mindful that one day your children may see you in the same light.
Perhaps you could be passive aggressive back and tell her kindly that the children are supposed to be in bed at this hour and having her drop by with CANDY is preventing the normal family routine. Then suggest that she come by tomorrow and take them OUT! Take advantage of the situation :) Tell her the kids have already brushed their teeth and that they have cavities from all the late night candy.
Maybe you should turn all the lights out and not open the door. Maybe then she'll get the hint. I don't know, but I'd be angry so I'm telling you what I (a 22 year old woman with a good mom and no kids) would do. I don't understand...so sorry if it isn't the best advice. But then, on the other hand, I have a friend who's mom can't stand to be around children, and it sucks for her because she wants her kid to have a good grandma. Good luck.