Child Disorder?!
Question: I have this cousin, about three years old, and I am living with her. Unbearable. She does everything that will make you go mad with annoyance. She talks to herself often. Cries alot - when I mean alot, I mean superbly extremely often, and mostly for no reason. Has the habit of breaking things for no reason, and cries most annoyingly when 1 bit of food is taken from her. Is this something to be worried about? She's just three and she causes chaos in the house. I think her mother is always changing the milk and vitamins. Help me, so I can help my cousin. Another thing, I want to know if this is a mental disorder. Thank you.
Answers: I have this cousin, about three years old, and I am living with her. Unbearable. She does everything that will make you go mad with annoyance. She talks to herself often. Cries alot - when I mean alot, I mean superbly extremely often, and mostly for no reason. Has the habit of breaking things for no reason, and cries most annoyingly when 1 bit of food is taken from her. Is this something to be worried about? She's just three and she causes chaos in the house. I think her mother is always changing the milk and vitamins. Help me, so I can help my cousin. Another thing, I want to know if this is a mental disorder. Thank you.
Quite honestly, it sounds like she just wants attention. I don't think the diet has anything to do with it, but her mother should not be moving around milk and vitamin choices. It's not good for her digestive system.
She has learned that the way to get attention is to act in the manner that she is. It is somewhat normal for her to whine. This is the way 3 year olds express themselves. They are still learning how to express their frustration. The key is to get them to talk, rather than start whining.
For instance, someone takes her food - whether it is one piece or all of it, she sees it as hers, and someone is taking what belongs to her. All she knows is that she wants it.
I think that all of the adults in the house need to stop reacting to her temper tantrums. Be patient with her and give her names for her feelings. Example: I am sorry you are angry that I took one of your french fries. I will ask if it's okay that we share next time.
As far as breaking things, it is going hand in hand with her frustrations. Every time she gets mad, tell her that you love her, but her behavior is unacceptable. If would immediately give her a rule that if she breaks something again, she will lose her favorite doll or blankey to time out. Put it where she can see it, and let her know that what she did was not okay and that is her consequence. She can only get the time out items back with good behavior. That means, that she can get through a day with improved behavior.
If she is whining because she isn't getting her way, the answer should be that she doesn't get it. Do not EVER give in. Ever!!! I can't stress that enough. She will learn to curb the whining.
My daughter has gone through the phase. She is 4 1/2. She still whines, but not nearly as much. If she wants a piece of candy and I tell her No, not before dinner. she will start a whimper and look right at me. She'll stop and then negotiate. "How about after dinner then?" She'll ask. Then, I will let her, just because it is a) appropriate behavior that I want to reward, and b) because it's after dinner! ;o)
In other words, be patient and choose your battles. Just don't give into the whining. Oh, yes. When she is in a particular state of drama, we will often tell her that she needs to go to her time out spot to relax, because we don't want to be around her when she is acting that way. I will then start my count to three. Usually on 1 she stops.
AS a mother of three children I can only tell you what it sounds like to me. One the child is spoiled so that she's used to getting her own way all the time and uses crying to get it. Two her mother needs to find one diet and stick to it, to keep changing her food or vitamins isn't helping as there maybe dyes and things that' she's allergic to and no one knows about yet. She should talk to the child doctor before she changes her diet or even gives her vitamins if she's being feed right she won't need any supplements at this age.