Strict Mother Problem...need your opinion. EASY POINTS!?!
Question: Strict Mother Problem!.!.!.need your opinion!. EASY POINTS!!?
Okay, so I guess right now I have a problem with my very strict mother not allowing me certain privileges I feel I should be allowed to have!. She's one of those old-fashioned (she's around 50-60 years old), prude mothers!.
I'm a very mature, thirteen year old going into eight grade!. She doesn't allow me to wear padded bras because she thinks only sluts and whores who want to make their bust seem bigger do that!.
She doesn't allow me to shave because she said that it makes hair come back thicker (not true, I looked it up) and because the only kinds of people who would look at my legs are boys!. Then, she started accusing me of trying to go all out for boys!.
She doesn't allow me to have a boyfriend until like, college because she thinks i'm going to get pregnant and drop out!. I think I should be the person who decides when I want a boyfriend, since its my heart, right!?
Continued!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm a very mature, thirteen year old going into eight grade!. She doesn't allow me to wear padded bras because she thinks only sluts and whores who want to make their bust seem bigger do that!.
She doesn't allow me to shave because she said that it makes hair come back thicker (not true, I looked it up) and because the only kinds of people who would look at my legs are boys!. Then, she started accusing me of trying to go all out for boys!.
She doesn't allow me to have a boyfriend until like, college because she thinks i'm going to get pregnant and drop out!. I think I should be the person who decides when I want a boyfriend, since its my heart, right!?
Continued!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Well, first off, you're absolutely right about the leg hair thing!. The only reason it's said that shaving makes the hair grow back thicker is because typically around the time we start shaving, we're going through puberty and our hair is naturally getting coarser and thicker!
It sounds like you do know how to do your research and are trying to be educated about your body and your life!. That's great!
Unfortunately, when it comes to moms, there's only so much you can do!. If she's as strict as she sounds, she'll probably be a hard sell on any topic!. Can you think of one thing that you want the most!? Maybe it would be easiest to sway her on ONE issue, and let her have all the rest of the stuff for a while!.
Remember not to whine or beg when you discuss the situation with her, and I think it's most important to let her know the reasons why you want this thing!. Let her know that you're not trying to get attention from boys (I would try to avoid wording it as "I'm not JUST trying to get attention from boys" which will reinforce to her that you DO want attention from boys)!.
She may or may not give in to your requests, but if, through your words and actions over a stretch of time, you prove that you can be a responsible young adult, she might be more willing to work with you on the growing-up stuff!.
I know it's tough now, but she's just trying to protect you, and she thinks she's doing the right thing!.
Now, I don't recommend going behind her back and sneaking about, because these things have a way of coming back to our parents and wind up biting us in the rear!. There are some possibilities here though, if she really just will not give in!. If you buy your own razors, maybe you could shave at a girlfriend's house or at school before important things (pool parties or formal dances)!. You'd just have to find storage where she wouldn't find them!. Again, you'll want to think about how much trouble you could get into over this before actually trying it!. I don't want to get you into trouble, or tell you to go behind your parents' backs!.
I know that you mention that your father is sort of passive on everything!. Have you thought about sitting down with him and explaining the issues (maybe just the tamer ones, like leg-shaving to start with)!? I don't know how your relationship is with him, but it might at least be worth a try!. If you decide to take this approach, remember not to attack your mom while you're talking to him ("Mom just doesn't get it!!")!. Let him know that you have real non-boy-related issues, and as a growing young lady, you think you're ready for these new opportunities!.
Best of luck to you!Www@Answer-Health@Com
It sounds like you do know how to do your research and are trying to be educated about your body and your life!. That's great!
Unfortunately, when it comes to moms, there's only so much you can do!. If she's as strict as she sounds, she'll probably be a hard sell on any topic!. Can you think of one thing that you want the most!? Maybe it would be easiest to sway her on ONE issue, and let her have all the rest of the stuff for a while!.
Remember not to whine or beg when you discuss the situation with her, and I think it's most important to let her know the reasons why you want this thing!. Let her know that you're not trying to get attention from boys (I would try to avoid wording it as "I'm not JUST trying to get attention from boys" which will reinforce to her that you DO want attention from boys)!.
She may or may not give in to your requests, but if, through your words and actions over a stretch of time, you prove that you can be a responsible young adult, she might be more willing to work with you on the growing-up stuff!.
I know it's tough now, but she's just trying to protect you, and she thinks she's doing the right thing!.
Now, I don't recommend going behind her back and sneaking about, because these things have a way of coming back to our parents and wind up biting us in the rear!. There are some possibilities here though, if she really just will not give in!. If you buy your own razors, maybe you could shave at a girlfriend's house or at school before important things (pool parties or formal dances)!. You'd just have to find storage where she wouldn't find them!. Again, you'll want to think about how much trouble you could get into over this before actually trying it!. I don't want to get you into trouble, or tell you to go behind your parents' backs!.
I know that you mention that your father is sort of passive on everything!. Have you thought about sitting down with him and explaining the issues (maybe just the tamer ones, like leg-shaving to start with)!? I don't know how your relationship is with him, but it might at least be worth a try!. If you decide to take this approach, remember not to attack your mom while you're talking to him ("Mom just doesn't get it!!")!. Let him know that you have real non-boy-related issues, and as a growing young lady, you think you're ready for these new opportunities!.
Best of luck to you!Www@Answer-Health@Com
For a parent, it is difficult allowing your child to grow up!. You have to learn to compromise with her!. Show her that you respect her and ask her to trust you!. She may not allow you to go out with boys immediately but maybe she will allow you some privileges!. Good luck! This is difficult for both sides!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
She probably still thinks of you as her baby and finds it hard to accept you are growing up
explain to her how you feel
i think shes a bit of a ***** but who am i to judgeWww@Answer-Health@Com
explain to her how you feel
i think shes a bit of a ***** but who am i to judgeWww@Answer-Health@Com
Talk to herWww@Answer-Health@Com
wow!.!.
speak to your mum and tell her!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
speak to your mum and tell her!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Sweetie, although your mother is way older than me, I can see some part of her point!. She is trying to protect you from things she deems dangerous!. There is a huge generation gap between the two of you (so perhaps things were really different when she grew up)!. Even though I am a mom myself, as a female I understand your side of it too!. The best thing is to calmly talk to her, screaming and arguing does not work!. Just sit down and tell her what you feel and how responsible you are!. She may give in a bit if you can convince her that what you want is to be comfortable!. Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think instead of telling US how you feel, you should go tell your mother!. I'm sure she has her reason for things, and you ARE only thirteen, but you have a much better chance of getting her to cool it if you talk to HER!.
I know how you feel though, my mother was super over-protective too, but she had reasons for what she did, and now that I'm old enough to realize it, I'm glad she did what she did!. Because I think I turned out pretty well!.
Anyway!. Go sit down and have a good, honest talk with her about how you're maturing and want to make your own decisions and/or mistakes!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know how you feel though, my mother was super over-protective too, but she had reasons for what she did, and now that I'm old enough to realize it, I'm glad she did what she did!. Because I think I turned out pretty well!.
Anyway!. Go sit down and have a good, honest talk with her about how you're maturing and want to make your own decisions and/or mistakes!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Having a strict mother can be very difficult but you should not let it make you feel miserable! You should maybe sit down with your mother and have a sensible mature chat with her!. Tell her that you are mature enough to not do silly things!. Tell her everything that is troubling you so you can get it off your chest!.
Try not to expect too much at first as it is might be hard to accept that your daughter is growing up fast! Try to reason with her and take small steps at a time!. For example, If she will not let you stay out til 7pm!.!.!. try 8pm and build up from it!. This will make it easier for your mother to cope and lets her see you can be trusted!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Try not to expect too much at first as it is might be hard to accept that your daughter is growing up fast! Try to reason with her and take small steps at a time!. For example, If she will not let you stay out til 7pm!.!.!. try 8pm and build up from it!. This will make it easier for your mother to cope and lets her see you can be trusted!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I will start by saying something annoying, your mum loves you and I am sure however loopy she is being she is trying to do what she thinks is best for you!. Mum's get scared nowadays that even good, mature girls are going to get led astray because they see the mess some girls gt themselves into on TV!.
My mum once called me a whore for sleeping with my boyfriend when I was 18! Nice!
Anyway I think that you need to talk to your mum and your dad!. Explain why you want a bit more freedom and as for not wearing granny panties is there any way you can look up on an online store the type you would like to show you are only after something a bit prettier!? Padded bras are not that bigger deal, stuff a few tissues in after you leave the house so you don't need to fight about that one!.
As for a boyfriend, just have one, tell your mum you are going to see friends and see your boyfriend!. Rebel a little!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
My mum once called me a whore for sleeping with my boyfriend when I was 18! Nice!
Anyway I think that you need to talk to your mum and your dad!. Explain why you want a bit more freedom and as for not wearing granny panties is there any way you can look up on an online store the type you would like to show you are only after something a bit prettier!? Padded bras are not that bigger deal, stuff a few tissues in after you leave the house so you don't need to fight about that one!.
As for a boyfriend, just have one, tell your mum you are going to see friends and see your boyfriend!. Rebel a little!.Www@Answer-Health@Com