How do i learn to live with the grief of loseing my nan to lung cancer.?!

Question: my nan has been ill for a couple of years, she was my best friend. she died in my arms on october 10th 2007, i will never forget it, i feel lost and broken, i need to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. i miss her so much, it is not fair.

Answers: my nan has been ill for a couple of years, she was my best friend. she died in my arms on october 10th 2007, i will never forget it, i feel lost and broken, i need to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. i miss her so much, it is not fair.

I'd love to be able to put my arms around you and give you a massive hug right now because i know exactly what your going through.
I lost my wonderful mum in January of this year, she had terminal lung cancer and died 6 weeks after first being diagnosed.
She died very peacefully at home and my sister, 3 older brothers, dad and myself were all with her.
The day she died was so surreal and i actually felt like i was on the outside looking in and it just didn't seem real, i do remember going to the shop to buy a new paper in a total daze, when the man in the shop served me he asked how mum was, i handed over my money and just blurted out that she was dead and walked out leaving him in shock.
I felt so many emotions after mum died, i felt anger, anger at the doctors for not realising just how sick she was, anger at total strangers in the street, my life had just fallen apart and they were going about their daily lives without a care in the world.
I even felt anger towards my poor mum, anger because she'd gone and id' never get the chance to tell her just how much i loved her and i needed her to be there and tell me everything was going to be ok.
Then it hit me that she had really gone and the pain i felt was the most unbearable pain i have ever known, i felt so alone and scared and my heart felt like it had been ripped out and smeared all over my face.
It's been almost a year since i lost my mum and i think about her every second of the day, i still have very low days and cry and feel like i cant go on, and then i remember what a truly amazing lady my mum was, she was a fighter and wouldn't give up on anything and would be so sad if she knew i was feeling so unhappy, somehow that spurs me on and i find the strength to go on.
I dont when or if i will ever truly get over my mum's death, it will take time, but i do know that one day i will be able to think about her and i wont feel like my heart is going to break and a little ray of sunshine will break through the dark cloud that has hung over me since she went.
Take care my friend and im so sorry for your loss! x x

I'm not sure that you learn to live with it, you just accept it.

Sorry to hear for your loss, but the only thing that will help ease the pain is time & the knowledge that she is not in pain wherever she is now.
Remember her for the good times, not for the end of her life & the sadness that came with that. She would want you to be happy so focus on that.
Perhaps bereavement councelling would be of help?

Good to answer this one?
Well all I can say is we never get over it....we learn to get through it. xXx

the memories of her can never taken away from you. you only really lose the person you loved so much when you stop thinking about them. give yourself time. take care. you do get through it

I lost my dad to lung cancer when I was 17 and it was tough. The main thing is keep your other family members close. You have to endure for the first few months but you can't just live in the past. Dying is a part of life and learning how to deal with death is huge. Surround yourself with good people and help each other out through this tough ordeal. Best of luck.

After losing someone so close the honest truth is that only time will take some of the pain away, I lost my brother 12 years ago, it still hurts like hell sometimes. But we carry on and with the love and support from family and in my case a councillor, we move on and cherish what we have, we never forget and the sadness stays with us, but please know that your nan would want you to be happy. I can say that because I am a nan and would want my granddaughters to be happy and remember me as the one who spoiled them rotten when I was alive. My heart goes out to you x

My condolences on your loss. Life is not fair those we love die and we feel bereft. Time does not heal but what it does do is take away the feeling of being lost and broken. The way forward to help is to remember her and speak about her all the time. This will keep her alive to you. Think about how she would feel about you making yourself ill through grief. Take strength from the legacy she left you, her love. This love cannot fade or die but it can make you strong.

Actually my grandpa just died November 24th, and I'm heart broken but there's nothing I can do because he was very sick and I don't want him to suffer...
But what I think you should do is try helping organizations for cancer that will save other peoples lives, It might help you feel better and you can save a few lives while your at it...

Time is a great healer and yes at the moment you feel your whole world around you has collapsed,but it does get easier and you will never forget,just think about the good and funny times you had with her and soon you will find its not as painful as you first thought,

So sorry to hear about your Nan. I guess spend lots of time with your family and friends, keep your self occupied and remember the good times you shared with her. I think with time things get easier. Maybe you should talk to a grief councillor about it as well.

We've all lost or will lose someone during our lifetime. It is natural that you are grieving and may do so for a while but the pain lessens each day. It may help a little if you believe,as i do,in the spiritual world. Think of it as nan has passed all her exams and has been allowed home. She's ok so you won't be grieving for her,just for yourself..............xx

well you never get over it my nan died 6yrs ago and my mum 14 yrs ago and i still get upset especially aroound this time of year you will get to the stage that there is light at the end of the tunnel but my advice is to take one day at a time and dont keep thing bottled up which is what i did and got very depressed talk to people and what i found was writting thing down in a type of letter to your nan it sounds stupid but it works its like you can write loads of stuff down your feeling that your angry with them for leaving i know that at the moment what anyone says you dont really take it on board because what is said to you is no conselation for your loss but in time thinds will get easier and less painful and you never forget them but you just seem to get on with your life and me like you i was there when my mum passed on and it is not a nice seeing your loved one like that but try toput that in the back of your mind and remember good times and not that hope this helps and i really do know what you are going through keep your chin up

you poor thing i have every sympathy for you, yes i do know what it's like, as always time is a great healer, and i know alot of people will tell you this but it's true, take each day as it comes and you will find in time that your able to cope better and deal with emotions that you feel for your nan in a different light, and be thankful of what life she had and what she was able to give you also, trust me in time you will be able to smile when you think of her and not let it affect your day to day life, and that day will come but like i said it takes time, so be patient and you will be fine. x

Time will cure all miseries. We all lose someone we love or is important for us in our lifetime. It is so painful at first but you will recover in time. Definitely there is a light at the end of the tunnel or a new life awaiting her where there is no more pain or sickness and also for all of us. Just continue praying for her or you can even talk to her picture. You will recover in no time.Take care.Good Luck !

It's sad, and it happens to us all. You WILL feel better, it just takes time.

sorry to hear your pain. i know how you feel i lost my mother after only a four month battle with a rare form of cancer. She was only 60 and also my best friend. i cant believe she is gone, she will never see me marry have children and enjoy life. She has been robbed of the best years of her life. contact me if you need support. xx

Faith. I have witnessed the miracle of comfort and healing to those that are grieving first hand. I know a woman who lost her husband in a very unexpected and tragic accident. The very evening as people visited her, she proclaimed, I know where he is and I wouldn't bring him home if I had the choice. Jesus is our light when we are lost and hurting, we are never alone. Lean on him, let him carry your burdens and send you peace and comfort in this difficult time. I will pray for you and your family.

The consumer health information on is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories