How do I find myself?!
Question:
How do I find myself?
I never really thought about asking on the internet but here it goes. I am going through a divorce : ( I do have a new boyfriend we have been dating for almost 7 months now. IAt first I was really happy so i thought right now i think reality has hit me in the face with this whole divorce. I had a misscarage right before we were breaking up i never told my husband and i never really cried after we parted. I went with my boyfriend really fast and everything just happened soo fast it seems unreal. I feel empty inside. I don't know who I am any more I have a 5 year old little girl which is my world. I do not want her to see her mom a lost soul. How do I find myself again? So I can be happy and at peace and make others around happy?? I love my boyfriend but I feel this unhappiness and not able to find myself is hurting my relastionship.Please if you have any good advice I could really use an open ear and wisdom....
Answers:
When awful things happen to us we quickly want to turn the pain and sorrow into pleasure so that we dn't have to feel the hurt that suffering gives us.
What we don't realise at the time is that by disallowing the grief at whatever has happened, we are effectively shutting ourselves off from a huge part of ourselves.
As much as pain is awful, it is a part of the human condition and most of our growth and development, our spiritual, physical and emotional evolution comes from the experiences of pain and suffering.
When we block that we end up disconnecting parts of our psyche which leads us to exactly th place where you are now.
It is really important that you take some time to be by yourself to assimilate the experiences of the loss of your marriage and your unborn child.
If you don't do this your current relationship will head the same way and then you will be forced to grieve for the loss of twice as much.
If you can, attend a workshop or retreat that will help you get in tune with the lessons of your past experiences. In Australia we have an organisation called HEART that offers weekend and ongoing emotional counselling. Look for something similar where you are and take the time and energy to go back into the loss in order to understand it emotionally and perhaps spiritually so you can reconnect with you.