I lied and caused a lot of trouble.... and I don't know WHY.?!
Question:
I lied and caused a lot of trouble.... and I don't know WHY.?
I went to party with my boyfriend (whom I live with and we both have kids). I came home and stupidly drank more alcohol (I probably had 15+ drinks). My boyfriend was asleep and I tried to wake him up for sex. When he wouldn't wake I became very violent, to the point of grabbing a knife & screaming at him. When he took the knife from me, I got cut (I fell when he was trying to grab it.) I went to the hospital & told the nurse my boyfriend stabbed me. They called the police & I told them a TOTALLY fabricated story of hitting, choking & stabbing from my boyfriend. I also told him I was really drunk. In the end he was arrested & could go to prison. I have NO idea why I made up such a horrible lie about a man that I love. He's never hurt me, never lost his temper. I'm seeing a therapist, who says that year of previous domestic abuse & my depression are to blame. Has anyone seen or heard anything like this? Any advice for me? I'm dying from guilt and feel worthless.
Additional Details4 weeks ago
I have told the police I lied. They think I'm just being a typical victim who's afraid of retaliation. The state is pressing charges. I'm seeing a judge Monday to tell them I lied to see if they will drop the charges and I will probably be charged with making a false police report if not more. I'll face my music, I just don't know WHY I would do this.... and yes, our kids are the victim of my wrong-doing too. I can't explain how low I feel. My psychologist (whom I just started seeing after this happened) thinks it's post traumatic stress disorder, as I was abused in my previous marriage... I'm very ashamed and will do the right thing... I just don't know HOW and WHY I did this. Of course, I'm done drinking.
Answers:
I'll refrain from telling you what you are (I think you know).
You need to step up to the plate and do what's right. Tell the police you lied.