I've got a problem!! Need some advice PLEASE?!?!
Question: I've got a problem!! Need some advice PLEASE?!?
We have to wear a PE tshirt for PE and when i put it on, my cuts looked really bad. I had bracelets on that covered up some of them but not the BIG ones. I asked all my friends if they had a jumper and they all said no. I couldnt even pretend i forgot my kit as they give you kit if you forget.
So i just hid my arms behind my back but we were playing tennis and i had to play against the teacher for a while. I saw her look at them but she didn't say anything at all so i thought she didnt see But....
Yesterday my tutor kept me behind and said he'd been told that i had marks on my arm, so i talked it through with him.
Then this morning my head of year called me in her office and told me she got an email from a member of staff saying i had cuts on me. So then i had to talk it through with her! I agreed to see a councilor but My head of year said i have to talk to another teacher who deals with self harm and stuff and she will decide whether to tell my parents!
My parents cant know, My dad will get ANGRY!!! My mum has depression and will start to blame herself and will start crying and everything. I'm their little girl. Hardly little (14) But to them i am, this will destroy them and i fear for my mum. She has took an overdose (PURPOSELY!! ) And i'm always scared she will do it again and my bro's baby is going to be born ANYDAY and my mum has got a little bit of happiness in her life, i dont want to take that away from her!!!
Anyhoo, How can i persuade the teacher not to tell my parents? I will still get help from the school but i feel like them knowing will just do more harm than good!
Also, i want to find out how many of MY teacher actually know. Because i know the email was send to quite a few people but i don't know who and also some of my teachers have been acting different around me today. Some act very nice and some just STARE at me!! Should i ask my tutor which teachers know??
Any other advice would be helpful too :)
Thanks in advance :D x
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
If your parents are not capable of coping with your illness, then you need to be removed from their care and placed into foster care. If you feel this is not necessary, and that your parents can properly care for you, then they are required by law and social responsibilities to do their job as your parents, and that means they MUST to be informed of your mental health disorder, and they MUST ensure that you are receiving proper treatment. Anything less would be a lack of parental supervision (failure to even bother to notice that you were engaging in self harm), and a failure to provide adequate medical care for their child (failure to get you into treatment for cutting). Either of these consists of criminal negligence and legal grounds for removing you from their custody.
From a practical, legal perspective, now that school officials are aware of the self harm, there is NO OTHER OPTION but to inform your parents, and if your parents then fail to provide care, to inform child protective services.
Your emotional maturity will stop at the age at which you begin dealing with problems by escaping them through the use of drugs (your body's natural endorphins, in your case). Since you respond to life's challenges by using drugs, you fail to discover, practice and develop the skills needed to deal with those challenges in a healthy, productive and effective manner.
Have you ever seen a forty year old with the emotional maturity of a fifteen year old? It is a sad, lonely, bitter scene. That's your future, unless you decide to give up your drug of choice and allow yourself to start working on the skills required to move into your future. The skills I am talking about are defining and enforcing personal boundaries, making good choices, honoring your commitments, learning to say "no" without guilt or excuses, learning how to negotiate with difficult people, learning how to manage your body's physiological stress and how to monitor your mood swings and take effective measures at dealing with moods that are getting into danger levels before they get too serious. If you are going to just get high every time life gets difficult, you'll never learn any of this, and you'll remain a clueless, sad, immature kid in an old person's body, wondering why nothing ever works out right.
Cooperate with your school and your parents. See your doctor. Get some counselling. Get with the program. Try to remember that you are the kid, and the teachers, counselors and parents are the adults. You don't take care of the parents. The parents take care of you.
"Cutting" is not going to cut it. If you truly need drugs, get on an antidepressant.
Best Wishes and Good Luck!!
um, you can't really hide scars can you?
i'd tell the teachers that you'r talking to to a councilor, and sorting you'r self out. and that it would make a lot of trouble in the house, tell them about you'r mum and dad..
That's what i said and they didn't tell my mum and dad but in the end they did, it was an overdoes not self harm, because i had to go to hospital..
just say that and hopefully they shouldn't, but your a student there and they have to put you'r safety first and of others, it;s like you can't keep them from your mum and dad for the rest of your life.
good luck x
Prayer can help you. Please don't think of hurting yourself. Sounds like you need to know God, your spiritual Father, then pray about your life. He can help you live a better life. God doesn't want you to hurt yourself, but to know and follow Him so you can have a good life. As God is love, life is primarily about love and relationships in order to have a rich and full life. Also, you need to know God's Son, Jesus Christ, in your life as your Lord and Savior as Jesus died on the cross as payment for our sins. Having Him with you will give you God's blessing and forgiveness, as you live God's way. We need to know and follow God in this life so we can go to heaven after we die, and so we can get God's help now. Not following God leads to hell, eternal suffering. Instead, there is an important prayer to pray to become a born again Christian. This prayer should be said with faith in God and a sincere heart:
"Dear God, I know that I am a sinful person and I don't want to be like this anymore. I know that Jesus Christ died on the cross as payment for our sins, and I want to accept Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior forever so I can receive God's forgiveness, guidance, and go to heaven after I die. Thank you, dear God, for your mercy and guidance; in Jesus' name. Amen."
After saying this prayer, you should check out a Christian church like Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran.
Also, get into their youth Sunday school group so you can learn more about God, Jesus, and God's will for your life. The Bible is God's instruction book about how to live a God-honoring life so you can go to heaven after you die. The church can also get you baptized and prayed for. You can pray for yourself daily too. Maybe you could find a Christian friend who could get you to church with them. God guide your life.
i no exactly what your goin through, i had the exact thing happen to me but after a wile i sed i cnt do p.e and wont n they said why and i said because i self harm and i dont want everyone to see so they said you wont do p.e butcan they have a look so i showed tham and they sendd me to first aid.
what you sed about the head teacher i had deputy and shes child protection.. n she sed she wont show or tell my parents n i sed ok.. i got home and my mum pinned me up against the wall by my neck and we hada fight (which ended up with me havin a black eye) anyway i only shew my mum my wrists as they wernt so bad ... (but thinkin back it was as i had slit them)
anyway how you could go about telling ur mum n dad as it wud b better from you that i am self harmin but i want to get help for it... so it doesnt souind as bad?
and with your email being sent to quit a few people i thnk tht is wrong and shouldnt of happened! n yes if i was u i would ask ur tutor and find out.
i hope you will b ok and sort everything out..... maybe consider goin to your doctors also? xx gd luck babe
look the school may have a duty to tell your parents imagine if you had a school age child and the teachers knew your kid was harming and then did not tell you how would u feel
equally they may not tell your parents but you will not be able to persuade them one way or another
if/when your parents find out you say " im sorry i was having a hard time,i realise that it was the wrong way to go about things and i have had talks with the school counsellor
you are your parents little girl and still be when your 40!! fact!
your parents will be upset and maybe angry but in the long run they care about you and just want to see you happy and healthy
try find a more constructive way to deal with the harm issue,exercise,write poetry hit a pillow anything
look on wwwyoungminds.org.uk
www.kidshealth.com
best wishes