Depression, how to deal with it in my situation? (Death of family, Unemployment.!
Question: Depression, how to deal with it in my situation? (Death of family, Unemployment...)?
There has been a lot of changes in my life last year and 5 months ago I couldn't get up for a month lying in the bed after quitting my job.
Changes:
*Graduation,
*Step father's sudden death (I was not so close with him and didn't live with my parents, my real father left home 20 years ago never seen him since then),
*Getting a new job - only for 6 months(I couldn't stop thinking about suicide at work, lack of sleep etc),
*Unemployment(for 5 months now),
*Some relationship issues(I understand my bf supporting me through this hard time but it's too difficult for both of us, also long distance until this summer)
I can't afford any kind of a treatment because there is no money for that. After sleeping through days for a month after quitting my job, I was able to get up and my mood improved a lot. I also started to look for a job since then and I am getting close to land in a position now... I hope it's soon.
At the same time, I still have days when I can't eat/sleep/ and cry all day/think about disappearing. I am really worried if I could handle any kind of job, but not having a job makes me even more depressed and I absolutely need money and want a job. However, I expect to work probably 50-60 hours per week since that's the culture in this country.
I plan on seeing a counselor once I secure stable income.
I am taking vitamin B, Omega-3, and will try to sleep as much as possible.
I am not so much into running anymore after the breakdown 5 months ago, but I sometimes go for a walk and bike.
I would appreciate any kind of advice for daily life.
Does anyone think that I should tell my potential employer before/after get a job?
Answers:
I don't think you should tell your employer outright. Your employer doesn't have the right to ask you about your personal health when considering you for a job, and you are not obligated to tell them. However, it is your responsibility to get yourself well enough to carry out the job if you are so lucky to get it.
I encourage you to explore any options you have to see a counselor. I don't know where you live, but there are often government programs that provide free counseling to people without means. Call any health helplines, government medical program offices, or even therapist's offices. Let them know that you need help but cannot pay for it, someone will be able to help you. You just need to be talking to someone regularly if it is that bad. You would probably also benifit a lot from antidepressant meds, but only a doctor can determine this.
In the meantime, I encourage you to continue exercising and taking your vitamins. Remember that you have been better before and you can and WILL be better again. When you have really bad days, try to force yourself to do something that you don't really want to do: call a friend and tell them about it, get outside and take a walk, write in a journal, get dressed up and put some makeup on. Just do anything other than wallow. I know it sounds easier said than done, but know that if you given in to it by just laying in bed crying all day you pretty much guarantee you won't feel any better. Doing something else may not automatically make you feel better but it is the first step. Go to a website like http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/ to connect with others who can relate to what you are feeling.
I totally feel your pain as I have suffered from depression/anxiety for most of my life. I have gone in and out of therapy due to financial reasons also. However, I have never suffered from major depression, mostly chronic mild depression and anxiety, so I have been able to manage it on my own by the mechanisms above and by taking an antidepressant. However, I have not had any time so bad that it seriously affected my job or my life. Since your depression is affecting you in a major way and you are having thoughts of "disappearing" you really need professional help and I hope you can find it. Good luck to you.
Unless its obvious that you have problems I'd say don't tell a potential employer. It could really hurt your chances.
Paco is right, it will hurt your chances even if they don't say anything. At the same time if you've had psychosocial rehabilitation that includes vocational rehabilitation it could better your chances as they get a tax credit for hiring disabled people to work.
There is free ways to get help out there. You need to look up your states services. In texas its called Mental Health Mental Retardation and is Psychosocial rehabilitation. I have a severe mental illness and after my first psychiatric stay I was able to see couselors, case workers, and psychiatrists for free. I'm acutally going back over there in about 2 weeks for more help, and its all free still.
It is obvious that your inclination for suicide is the direct result of your chronic depression. As you have said that you can't afford treatment, I suggest that you try out some computer-based programs that renowned psychotherapists have devised. For example, you may visit www.MindMaster.tv, and experiment with what they are to offer.
www.MindMaster.tv
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