How to tell my psychiatrist about my obsession with pills and suicidal thoughts?!
Question: How to tell my psychiatrist about my obsession with pills and suicidal thoughts?
I have been banned from the pharmacy due to too many suicide attempts since last April.. And I crave the meds, I obsess about them, I want them so badly. I've lied to get prescriptions but no pharmacy will fill them. Nothing. I need her to un ban me and prescribe me meds. I need them. I see a counselor who wants to come with me to make sure I don't lie and get the meds.. I just need to feel numb again.
And I think about death all the time, overdosing, car accident, shooting, hanging, everything. I won't do those, but I think about it so much..
I look fine on the outside, and I don't know how to tell her or what she would do.. Last time she wouldn't give me meds due to my numerous suicide attempts.. but I need them.
What should I do.. and I don't want to go back to the hospital..
Answers:
you need to be in the hospital if you keep thinking of ways to commit suicide and don't say that you wouldn't really do it. i'm an old hand at that lie to myself. the hospital is a safe place until you get the help that you need. your psychiatrist will not think badly about you. she is used to things like this. i attempted suicide this past september. it was my first attempt with the psychiatrist i have now and i couldn't face him. but he was very kind and understanding. they are taught not to judge but to help.
You need to tell her its the best thing for you, try practising what you are going to say in front of the mirror to see what you think it looks like when you say it, just open out and tell her the truth you can definately trust her, she will help i promise!
Its so hard saying to some one you have a problem so when u tell her, cover your ears and say it so only she can hear it, its easy thinking about saying it but the words feel like they just wont come out
hope i helped