Hey... Am I okay? Is this relatively normal?!
Question: Hey... Am I okay? Is this relatively normal?
I just lost my car to a broken head gasket, and can't afford to fix it or buy a new car, I've been without a job for 9 months, got laid off, I work at my parents office a little bit to get by. Losing the car is really stressing me out, now I can't even get to work if I was lucky enough to get a job in my field. It also means I'll probably have to move in with my parents to work at their office. I'm thankful they help me get by but I would like to be independent of them for obvious reasons and also because my mom's an alcoholic, they fight all the time, and they are very controlling and drive me crazy. I had a dream I guzzled gallons of gasoline to kill myself. I woke up thinking I might not be okay.
I don't have anyone else I can or want to talk to about this and can't afford to see a professional. I can barely afford to eat. If I could, I would see a therapist, I've been wanting to for a long time. But maybe everyone feels this way sometimes and I shouldn't make a big deal of it?
Answers:
There is always a way out. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I was homeless, jobless, penniless and had no education. I had got hurt at work, and since it was deemed I did something wrong (unsafe act) I received only the minimum from the state, I was too hurt to work, and when the money ran out, I was in a pickle.
So - I got a job outside my field. I went to a trucking company, took the free school, they paid me through school, I just had to borrow $300 from my cousin to eat on (they covered the hotel). Then I had a truck in which I could actually live, uncomfortable as it might be. The truck had a sleeper, and eventully I got a tv, dvd player, etc.
5 years later, I had my own truck, a home, a car, insurance, a steady income, and had seen the country.
The moral of the story? There is ALWAYS a way out.
Maybe a job not in your field, work is work.
Check out the ads for roomates, move to a cheaper area - heck if you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.
Before I got hurt I drank, a lot, parties all the time, and then, it all had to change. The change did me good.
Good luck :)
I'm not sure where you live, but there are free clinics in many places that can direct you to mental health care. Check with your county website, do an internet search, call around, saying you have no money but think you have a serious health issue -- who should you see? I work with many students who have no money and we can find them or their families counseling for free when they need it. Help is probably out there. You do need to talk to someone. Everyone has down times but yours seems especially severe.
And remember that we all have times when life sucks but those times pass. I've had those times. Right now, though, life's pretty good.
there was a guy who jumped off the golden gate bridge to try and kill himself and he lived. when he was fished out of the water he was asked for a statement. he said that the last thing he thought about after he jumped was that there were no problems in his life that couldnt be dealt with and overcome, exept the problem that he had just created for himself by jumping. everybody has problems, the key to calling urself an adult is learning how to deal with those problems. although for the record, its not completely abnormal to think about ur own mortality. what may or may not be abnormal is the way in which you ponder this subject. If ur feeling that bad, and its gotten to that point, then you need to check urself into a mental hospital. there are payment plans and they will work with you. think about all of the good times that u have had in ur life. now think about the people u love. it would be wise of u to spare ur friends and family of ur death, just as u would want to be spared of ur best friend taking his or her own life
personal experiance