I think i need counseling? please help me?!
Question: I think i need counseling!? please help me!?
i have no sense of direction as far as college goes!. i feel like a failure!. i have poor people skills and its hard for me to make friends!. i cant overcome my social anxiety(extreme shyness)!. im a nice guy, but im scared of getting too close to people!. i have alot of built up, unresolved resentment from my past!. i didnt know how to handle things then, so i constantly rehearse things in my head!. i dont know how to express myself and i feel inferior to many people in many areas!. im so sad right now and i feel lost!. is there any hope!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
be who you are- be happy don't let no body get you down alot of people don't know where they're going- but tomorrow always comes- try to make the day its best that's all you can do not one of us came with manuals unless you're religous that's the bible-most of us are insecure but you hide it-it's game more or less I think that if you let yourself go you'll be okay just a little insecure but that's most people do you notice what others are doing and how it affects you remember its not the size of the man in the fight its the size of the fight in the man if you feel it's right go for it !.!.!. but you best be confident in what you're fighting for!.!.don't give up or in!.!.!.!.!. you'll be fine !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well I went through the same thing! But I am over the social anxiety but sounds like OCD Thoughts are over taken you!. I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder , Depression , OCD!. It isn't easy and I know the feeling lost feeling!. Counseling will help so much and you just need to push yourself to be more motivated!. It is hard I know but force yourself!. E-Mail me if you want to know more I would be more then happy to talk and answer your questions!. Or if you just need someone to talk 2 that has been there!. Good luck budd Www@Answer-Health@Com
Definitely go an talk to someone!. I rehearse things in my head a lot too and find it hard to make friends on my own!. There is no hurt in going to talk to someone!.!.!.!.things couldn't get worse by it right!?
There is always hope, though it's realistic that for awhile you may not feel like it!. Therapy is hard stuff too!.!.!. be willing to work at it! Good luck!.!.!.I really hope you are able to make the step and make an appointment!. It is a tough thing to do I know!Www@Answer-Health@Com
There is always hope, though it's realistic that for awhile you may not feel like it!. Therapy is hard stuff too!.!.!. be willing to work at it! Good luck!.!.!.I really hope you are able to make the step and make an appointment!. It is a tough thing to do I know!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I've been there friend!.It all comes from worrying too much about what people think of you!.Maturity comes with being unafraid of failure!.
Just allow yourself to make mistakes,I am better than most people at working with TV/VCR/Sattelite/Cable etc that is because i've made so many mistakes that I know instantly which way I shouldn't go(experience),and am not ashamed to ask for help!.If people judge you and criticise you fairly or otherwise, well you're not here to please them that's for them to deal with,If they can't live with who you are!.!.!.!.too badWww@Answer-Health@Com
Just allow yourself to make mistakes,I am better than most people at working with TV/VCR/Sattelite/Cable etc that is because i've made so many mistakes that I know instantly which way I shouldn't go(experience),and am not ashamed to ask for help!.If people judge you and criticise you fairly or otherwise, well you're not here to please them that's for them to deal with,If they can't live with who you are!.!.!.!.too badWww@Answer-Health@Com
View the information and weblinks for social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www!.ezy-build!.net!.nz/~shaneris particularly MAKING FRIENDS!. CONVERSATIONS AND FRIENDSHIPS!. Here is an exercise that can help you!. It is called "Act as If!." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing!. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone!. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior!.
Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior!. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy!. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit!. Try this for a month, in every situation you can!. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing!. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave!.
People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot"!. But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy)!. It will teach you that, although it isn't actually pleasant, you will survive; be stronger for the experience, and the next time (should you need to repeat this type of therapy) will be considerably easier!. Remember: "A fear avoided is a fear strengthened; a fear faced is a fear reduced!." Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally!. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often!. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me"!.
Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind!.
Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication!. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger!. Although there are anti-anxiety medications (anxiolytics) available, these come with risks, and the possibility of side effects, habituation, even addiction, and withdrawal problems, and are unsuitable for young people!.
Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", herbal tea, by Celestial Seasonings, (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable)!. C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option!. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk!.
Xylitol, or Stevia is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey, because these will reduce "sugar spikes"!. Valerian has also been recommended, but some people experience "valerian hangovers"!. Ensure you know how you react to it, before doing something potentially dangerous, like going out on the roads!. The idea is to use the above like water wings, to provide initial, short term support, while you become proficient in the above techniques!. Have aptitude tests, vocational guidance, and career counselling!. Most people change occupations, these days!. Inferiority: www!.hypnosisdownloads!.com Visit your college counselor!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior!. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy!. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit!. Try this for a month, in every situation you can!. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing!. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave!.
People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot"!. But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy)!. It will teach you that, although it isn't actually pleasant, you will survive; be stronger for the experience, and the next time (should you need to repeat this type of therapy) will be considerably easier!. Remember: "A fear avoided is a fear strengthened; a fear faced is a fear reduced!." Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally!. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often!. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me"!.
Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind!.
Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication!. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger!. Although there are anti-anxiety medications (anxiolytics) available, these come with risks, and the possibility of side effects, habituation, even addiction, and withdrawal problems, and are unsuitable for young people!.
Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", herbal tea, by Celestial Seasonings, (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable)!. C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option!. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk!.
Xylitol, or Stevia is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey, because these will reduce "sugar spikes"!. Valerian has also been recommended, but some people experience "valerian hangovers"!. Ensure you know how you react to it, before doing something potentially dangerous, like going out on the roads!. The idea is to use the above like water wings, to provide initial, short term support, while you become proficient in the above techniques!. Have aptitude tests, vocational guidance, and career counselling!. Most people change occupations, these days!. Inferiority: www!.hypnosisdownloads!.com Visit your college counselor!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
Yes there's hope as long as you don't give up and you keep trying to learn about yourself and improve yourself!. Many people felt the way you do and have worked hard and improved their situation!.
I know someone who stutters and who had felt self conscious about his communication but is doing well even though he still stutters, it doesn't stop him from having a social life,
You can go see a counsellor at your college so that someone can help give you advice and help cope with your past resentment and some of the challenges you're facing!.
I use to be poor at communication and i use to use simple words all the time!. But I've improved my communication by improving by broadening my vocabulary by playing vocabulary games like on www!.freerice!.com!. I am not saying i am the best communicator now but i know i am much better than before!.
If you can join a club at your school, do so!. Joining a club or team like in sports will give you sense of belonging and help you feel less alone!. Hopefull you'll enjoy it too!. If you don't know what to join, experiment different things so that you will know what you might like or not!. The more experience you have, the better!.
If you're going to rehearse things in your mind, make sure they're positive ones that will put you in a positive state!!! Professional sports players constantly rehearse games in their mind so that they can win a game!. Boxers do it too!.
If you have an anxiety attack, take a break with what you're doing!. Take deep breaks and drink water!. Then try to recall:
A) A person you get along so well with (a loved one, a good buddy, a pet who is always happy to see you)!.
B) An object (a great gift someone gave you, a favourite treat or meal, a prize you won)
C) A great day you had (a great vacation, a time you accomplished something you were proud of, a time you played a great game, a day when everything when so well)!.
Try to recall these memories and the feelings you had will make you feel superconfident with yourself!. This will help you get through your anxiety attack!.
Also, by being in a more positive state will make you more relaxed and more able to communicate with the people around you!. It's hard to meet people when you have all these negative thoughts about yourself!.
Stay positive, give people a chance by being friendly to those around you!. If one guy isn't nice to you or is rude, then just ignore him and find somebody else to sit with and talk to!.
You might just start talk to someone in class just by talking about the assignment you have to work on or a test you had just to feel connected with the people in class!.
Be easy on yourself and don't be so hard on yourself!. I know exactly how you feel!. I have the same problem but i try to find ways to improve my situation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know someone who stutters and who had felt self conscious about his communication but is doing well even though he still stutters, it doesn't stop him from having a social life,
You can go see a counsellor at your college so that someone can help give you advice and help cope with your past resentment and some of the challenges you're facing!.
I use to be poor at communication and i use to use simple words all the time!. But I've improved my communication by improving by broadening my vocabulary by playing vocabulary games like on www!.freerice!.com!. I am not saying i am the best communicator now but i know i am much better than before!.
If you can join a club at your school, do so!. Joining a club or team like in sports will give you sense of belonging and help you feel less alone!. Hopefull you'll enjoy it too!. If you don't know what to join, experiment different things so that you will know what you might like or not!. The more experience you have, the better!.
If you're going to rehearse things in your mind, make sure they're positive ones that will put you in a positive state!!! Professional sports players constantly rehearse games in their mind so that they can win a game!. Boxers do it too!.
If you have an anxiety attack, take a break with what you're doing!. Take deep breaks and drink water!. Then try to recall:
A) A person you get along so well with (a loved one, a good buddy, a pet who is always happy to see you)!.
B) An object (a great gift someone gave you, a favourite treat or meal, a prize you won)
C) A great day you had (a great vacation, a time you accomplished something you were proud of, a time you played a great game, a day when everything when so well)!.
Try to recall these memories and the feelings you had will make you feel superconfident with yourself!. This will help you get through your anxiety attack!.
Also, by being in a more positive state will make you more relaxed and more able to communicate with the people around you!. It's hard to meet people when you have all these negative thoughts about yourself!.
Stay positive, give people a chance by being friendly to those around you!. If one guy isn't nice to you or is rude, then just ignore him and find somebody else to sit with and talk to!.
You might just start talk to someone in class just by talking about the assignment you have to work on or a test you had just to feel connected with the people in class!.
Be easy on yourself and don't be so hard on yourself!. I know exactly how you feel!. I have the same problem but i try to find ways to improve my situation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com