How do you stop having regets over the way you treated people in the past?!
Question: How do you stop having regets over the way you treated people in the past!?
Answers:
If you have a clear memory of the people, events, and motivations involved during the incident, and such incident has caused you a personal loss of friendship or other intangible value, then you might want to proceed and plan for some sort of reunion toward reconciliation!. Basically, you might want to talk to people about it!. Often, you'll get immediate absolution!. It doesn't make you a good person, it often means that you acted true to type!. In other words, people might have had you pegged as an X and you naturally met their expectations without even consulting with them!.
Of course, there are still those regrets, which means that personal unhappiness is a factor!. If the person is no longer accessible, you're going to have to live with it and atone by just not acting that way ever again when involved in a similar situation with a similar person!.
Moreover, many regrets aren't really valid!. This is frequently the case in childhood and adolescence!. Sometimes you're being provoked to act in a certain way!. Once you do, the spectators have gotten their thrill and never let you in on the secret!. As an adult, however, you never reach moral and ethical perfection!. You still end up 'thrashing' people in a more subtle, yet as hurtful way!. If this were not the case, the criminal justice system would collapse for lack of clients!.
I wouldn't brood on too many regrets!. They are mostly lost opportunities and often only valuable as historical artifacts!. People we hurt frequently want nothing to do with us!. Others convince us we betrayed them and we regret having "betrayed" them!. Further inspection often reveals nothing but selfish motives from the other side and false promises on our own!.
A practical way to resolve this is to work slowly on getting in contact with the object of your regret and everyone involved in the incident!. Always remember that there might be nothing else left to do besides apologize!. We live in time!. What has happened in the past, especially between people, remains cast in time!.
You should also place more efforts in understanding why you acted in a certain way without quickly dismissing it with words like, "I was just stupid!. I didn't know what I was doing!." Well, how so!? Why so!? In other words, I did this and that to so and so because at the time I believed X but not Y instead of X and Y, as in the correct form!. Do you still believe in X but not Y!? That's the key to resolving the emotional conflict resulting in regret!.
In the case of my regrets, I have too often found how things weren't really set up to happen correctly!. The social infrastructure is often lacking; the support; the people; the environment, etc!. It's like it wasn't meant to be!. Then there's other instances where the sword was passed onto me and I didn't seize the day!. Frankly, regrets come to mind every day of my life, which explains why I answer this question!. The problem is that, for some reason, the mind tends to forget and the incident returns!. As usual, I reach the same conclusion as before while regretting not being able to turn back time!. Listen to this:
http://ca!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=KuR9_kWJZg!.!.!.
And, yes, I just noticed it was used in the movie Broke Back Mountain!. It's a good song!.
People will immediately validate this type of regret based on heartbreak after a breakup!. The speaker's friend is actually fighting his regrets by saying that he isn't missing his lover at all, then he turns around and starts sending her telegrams (dinosaur e-mails)!. In the meantime, everyone continues talking about her and the singer smiles!. The thing is that this is a case of "remember this girl and how you guys were so tight!?" That kind of talk keeps regrets alive!. They are reminders often brought up to taunt and haunt!. Thus, you must be careful that someone is not tripping the switches that will detonate your regretful emotions!.
Finally, I'm not advocating ignoring all regrets until you lose your whole conscience, which is the part of our person that is actually suffering!. What I am saying is that the second best solution, and one that is often the only solution, is to assess your previous actions and surrounding motives as accurately as possible and make a pact with yourself not to ever do this again to another human/animal!. You might get lucky and those around you, in addition to yourself, may conclude that you have truly redeemed yourself!.
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Of course, there are still those regrets, which means that personal unhappiness is a factor!. If the person is no longer accessible, you're going to have to live with it and atone by just not acting that way ever again when involved in a similar situation with a similar person!.
Moreover, many regrets aren't really valid!. This is frequently the case in childhood and adolescence!. Sometimes you're being provoked to act in a certain way!. Once you do, the spectators have gotten their thrill and never let you in on the secret!. As an adult, however, you never reach moral and ethical perfection!. You still end up 'thrashing' people in a more subtle, yet as hurtful way!. If this were not the case, the criminal justice system would collapse for lack of clients!.
I wouldn't brood on too many regrets!. They are mostly lost opportunities and often only valuable as historical artifacts!. People we hurt frequently want nothing to do with us!. Others convince us we betrayed them and we regret having "betrayed" them!. Further inspection often reveals nothing but selfish motives from the other side and false promises on our own!.
A practical way to resolve this is to work slowly on getting in contact with the object of your regret and everyone involved in the incident!. Always remember that there might be nothing else left to do besides apologize!. We live in time!. What has happened in the past, especially between people, remains cast in time!.
You should also place more efforts in understanding why you acted in a certain way without quickly dismissing it with words like, "I was just stupid!. I didn't know what I was doing!." Well, how so!? Why so!? In other words, I did this and that to so and so because at the time I believed X but not Y instead of X and Y, as in the correct form!. Do you still believe in X but not Y!? That's the key to resolving the emotional conflict resulting in regret!.
In the case of my regrets, I have too often found how things weren't really set up to happen correctly!. The social infrastructure is often lacking; the support; the people; the environment, etc!. It's like it wasn't meant to be!. Then there's other instances where the sword was passed onto me and I didn't seize the day!. Frankly, regrets come to mind every day of my life, which explains why I answer this question!. The problem is that, for some reason, the mind tends to forget and the incident returns!. As usual, I reach the same conclusion as before while regretting not being able to turn back time!. Listen to this:
http://ca!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=KuR9_kWJZg!.!.!.
And, yes, I just noticed it was used in the movie Broke Back Mountain!. It's a good song!.
People will immediately validate this type of regret based on heartbreak after a breakup!. The speaker's friend is actually fighting his regrets by saying that he isn't missing his lover at all, then he turns around and starts sending her telegrams (dinosaur e-mails)!. In the meantime, everyone continues talking about her and the singer smiles!. The thing is that this is a case of "remember this girl and how you guys were so tight!?" That kind of talk keeps regrets alive!. They are reminders often brought up to taunt and haunt!. Thus, you must be careful that someone is not tripping the switches that will detonate your regretful emotions!.
Finally, I'm not advocating ignoring all regrets until you lose your whole conscience, which is the part of our person that is actually suffering!. What I am saying is that the second best solution, and one that is often the only solution, is to assess your previous actions and surrounding motives as accurately as possible and make a pact with yourself not to ever do this again to another human/animal!. You might get lucky and those around you, in addition to yourself, may conclude that you have truly redeemed yourself!.
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Well!.!.!. if these people are still where you can get a hold of them you make amends to them and right what wrong you did to them, If they are not you ask the Lord to forgive you and remember not to do it again to anyone, Knowing God will forgive lets you be able to move on and not dwell in the past to much!. Then you just have to let go of what you did and learn from your mistake and hon that is all you can do!. Hope this helped you a liltte bit anywaysWww@Answer-Health@Com
Recognize how you might have been wrong!. Apologize if you can!. If you can't then just use those regrets to do better in the future and present with people you know now and will know later!.
Regret has no purpose unless it serves to want us to better ourselves!.
Also if it is regret without a true source in that you have a distorted view of your past self then you'll have to examine these experiences you have learned to regret and see them for what they really are!.!.!.possibly things that you should not be regretting at all in that they were needed at the time!.
In short, you MUST forgive yourself your past 'sins', learn from them, and carry on in the light of knowing, at least, how NOT to act with others which will guide you toward how to act RIGHTLY with them!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Regret has no purpose unless it serves to want us to better ourselves!.
Also if it is regret without a true source in that you have a distorted view of your past self then you'll have to examine these experiences you have learned to regret and see them for what they really are!.!.!.possibly things that you should not be regretting at all in that they were needed at the time!.
In short, you MUST forgive yourself your past 'sins', learn from them, and carry on in the light of knowing, at least, how NOT to act with others which will guide you toward how to act RIGHTLY with them!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
If possible apologize to those people!. Learn from that mistake and from this day forward treat people in your life kindly!. Feeling regrets is not constructive, go on and put the past where it belongs!. Remember to treat people the way you want to be treated!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Don't live in the past!. If you live with one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow then you are pissing all over today!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Its hard but you have to try to move on and treat people better in the future!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Forgive yourself first!. Then don't do it again!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
just realize that u cant go back in time n undo it just apologize n move on!. :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
Suck them offWww@Answer-Health@Com