I'm terrified about my son - please help?!
Question: I'm terrified about my son - please help!?
I'm twenty and the single Dad of a three-year-old son!. I'm an ex heroin addict and I've been clean for over two years!. I suffered from depression from age 13 to 17 and was on medication and seeing counselors!.
My son's mother walked out on us when he was two weeks old!. It caused me to grow up and get clean - for that I'm glad!. My son was born with drugs in his blood and he has always had trouble gaining weight!. A couple of months ago we noticed he became weak and was bruising very easily and he complained of constant headaches!. I took him to the hospital and it was confirmed he had acute lymphocytic leukemia!. I felt like someone had stabbed me when I found out, I felt sick and weak!. It had spread to his spine and gotten very serious so they started chemotherapy immediately!. He's extremely underweight and it's awful seeing him at the moment!. I've become so close to him because we've been through so much and he really is everything to me!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
My son's mother walked out on us when he was two weeks old!. It caused me to grow up and get clean - for that I'm glad!. My son was born with drugs in his blood and he has always had trouble gaining weight!. A couple of months ago we noticed he became weak and was bruising very easily and he complained of constant headaches!. I took him to the hospital and it was confirmed he had acute lymphocytic leukemia!. I felt like someone had stabbed me when I found out, I felt sick and weak!. It had spread to his spine and gotten very serious so they started chemotherapy immediately!. He's extremely underweight and it's awful seeing him at the moment!. I've become so close to him because we've been through so much and he really is everything to me!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
When someone you love this much becomes critically ill, you do as well!. This is affecting you nearly as much as it's affecting him!. You need professional help, same as I would if I were in your situation!. I am so sorry to hear this!.
You have a vulnerability to opiate drugs as a way of coping with depression!. If your son dies, it sounds like you would be at immediate risk of relapse!. You likely will need intensive counseling over a long period of time if you expect to stay clean!. If you ever had difficulty as a teenager seeing a reason to avoid drugs or even stay alive, you have found one now!. That reason is your son!. If you lose your son, you may again not see a reason to live or to avoid drugs, but again, there may be an incredible reason for doing so!.
No matter what happens, a man who is capable of loving his son this much has a lot to offer--not only to that son--but to others he will meet in his life!. Right now, you need help from others!. Later, the help you receive will give you strength to offer it to people who may need it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You have a vulnerability to opiate drugs as a way of coping with depression!. If your son dies, it sounds like you would be at immediate risk of relapse!. You likely will need intensive counseling over a long period of time if you expect to stay clean!. If you ever had difficulty as a teenager seeing a reason to avoid drugs or even stay alive, you have found one now!. That reason is your son!. If you lose your son, you may again not see a reason to live or to avoid drugs, but again, there may be an incredible reason for doing so!.
No matter what happens, a man who is capable of loving his son this much has a lot to offer--not only to that son--but to others he will meet in his life!. Right now, you need help from others!. Later, the help you receive will give you strength to offer it to people who may need it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Dad, first wake up to the fact that if your son passes away you are still alive!. Understand that you have choices because you are alive!. Make a pact with yourself that in the event your son passes you will better yourself in every way possible!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It's obvious that you need all kind of help you can get!. Email me!. Would love to talk to you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Your feelings are normal to what may happen or what could happen and the most you could do is maybe get something from the doc like Valium to help with that but even that wouldnt take all the pain away!.
But doing something like taking heroin, turning to alcohol, or any other thing would be the worst, most selfish thing you could ever do!. The kid needs you just as much as you need him!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
But doing something like taking heroin, turning to alcohol, or any other thing would be the worst, most selfish thing you could ever do!. The kid needs you just as much as you need him!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I am so sorry!.
I don't know how to help, but if you need anyone to talk to please feel free to email me, it's in my contact info!. I can listen (or read, ha) with the best of them!.
Please don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong here, you are just loving your son and that's a wonderful thing!. Sometimes what we have to go through is unfair and uncalled for, like when children get sick, but we can't change that it happened!. We can change our response to it, I'm glad that you realize this dark veil is descending on you and that you recognize it for what it is!. That way you can fight it that much more effectively!.
You are doing the best you can, as far as I can see!. Take care, I am thinking of you both!. Remember that there is always going to be the end of the chapter, that this agony won't last forever!. You will get through this!.
Edit: You sound like a wonderful father!. Everyone has their faults, and you have tried so hard to make things better for your son - that is so selfless and giving!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't know how to help, but if you need anyone to talk to please feel free to email me, it's in my contact info!. I can listen (or read, ha) with the best of them!.
Please don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong here, you are just loving your son and that's a wonderful thing!. Sometimes what we have to go through is unfair and uncalled for, like when children get sick, but we can't change that it happened!. We can change our response to it, I'm glad that you realize this dark veil is descending on you and that you recognize it for what it is!. That way you can fight it that much more effectively!.
You are doing the best you can, as far as I can see!. Take care, I am thinking of you both!. Remember that there is always going to be the end of the chapter, that this agony won't last forever!. You will get through this!.
Edit: You sound like a wonderful father!. Everyone has their faults, and you have tried so hard to make things better for your son - that is so selfless and giving!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The son of a close friend was diagnosed with neoblastoma at two!. It is the worst type of childhood cancer!. My friend took advantage of support groups offered thru the hospital and also saw a therapist!. She also took antidepressants for a while as well!. In order for you to take care of your son, you have to take care of yourself first!. There are resources available!. You have to choose them over street drugs and then take advantage of the support that is there to be had!. I'm sorry to hear you are going through this, and wish your son and you all the best!. Btw, my friend is one of the strongest ppl that I've ever known!. Needing help thru her boy's illness was not weakness, it was being human!. With that help, she also was one of the strongest ppl I could imagine in caring for her son and family!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I first want to say that I commend you for taking care of your son!. I think its great that you are clean now and taking care of a child at only 20!. I am sorry for everything you have been through!. If you believe in God, I suggest you pray ALOT and maybe even go to church!. Otherwise, you can maybe speak with a counselor or write your thoughts down!. Either way, you need to get your feelings off your chest!. It will definitely help you!. I will pray for you and your son!. Good Luck and stay strong dear :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through!. But you have to be strong and maintain yourself and keep eating!. Show your son that your are strong just like he is!. Do not no matter the circumstances go back to drugs! That is not the answer!. Just be there for your son and make sure he does everything he is supposed too!. I know he is 3 but I also know he is strong!. Hope the best for the both of you!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
You have to take care of yourself so that you can in turn, take care of your baby boy!. I know it seems easier said than done, but remember that you are the only parent that he has!. Even if he doesn't make it through this, you don't want his last memories to be of you being frail and pathetic!. That might sound harsh, but it's the truth!. I'm sorry that you're going through this, but you sound like a good daddy for caring about him the way you do!. I don't know what your belief system is, if you've any at all, but I'll keep you in my heart and my prayers!. If you need someone to talk to or to vent to, write me!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i have had the experience of having to trust the care of my children to others!.
by letting go of some of the burden you feel, trusting that people are giving what is their best, to your son, and accepting their search for solutions, answers, and not blaming yourself for being unable to do the impossible, and not harboring grudges, and i'm not saying you are, i don't know!.!.!. but these are all things i've done; ( and i admit it was the hardest thing i ever did,) (but these choices: letting go, trusting, forgiving--) have all had an effect on my life!. today
i can look back to my worst times and remain peaceful!.
this is important because of the children!.
i pray that your son gets to feel peace from you!. it will help him to know you have confidence, (you know it is a letting go of the fear, the self blame, etc!.) but he will experience that peace as rock-solid love!. your terror needs replacing!.
it's hard to hide the truth from a child, and i'm glad you wrote in!.!.
(i pray you will) seek more for yourself!. your son will reap the benefits, too!.
sometimes being strong is giving in!. give in to your need for "what will fill you with the strength that you need"!. you are using so much energy, you are filled with so much to do and think about, and 'worry' about, well, you need God's help!. He is there to fill all who come to Him in faith, your need(s) and the needs, the very needs, of your son! and, you won't have to do the impossible!. you won't have to fall, to have your very 'life' needs met!.
you can have what you need, and have it to give to your son --
i pray you find peace in Him!.
i hope this wasn't too preachy, but real to you!.
"God is love!."Www@Answer-Health@Com
by letting go of some of the burden you feel, trusting that people are giving what is their best, to your son, and accepting their search for solutions, answers, and not blaming yourself for being unable to do the impossible, and not harboring grudges, and i'm not saying you are, i don't know!.!.!. but these are all things i've done; ( and i admit it was the hardest thing i ever did,) (but these choices: letting go, trusting, forgiving--) have all had an effect on my life!. today
i can look back to my worst times and remain peaceful!.
this is important because of the children!.
i pray that your son gets to feel peace from you!. it will help him to know you have confidence, (you know it is a letting go of the fear, the self blame, etc!.) but he will experience that peace as rock-solid love!. your terror needs replacing!.
it's hard to hide the truth from a child, and i'm glad you wrote in!.!.
(i pray you will) seek more for yourself!. your son will reap the benefits, too!.
sometimes being strong is giving in!. give in to your need for "what will fill you with the strength that you need"!. you are using so much energy, you are filled with so much to do and think about, and 'worry' about, well, you need God's help!. He is there to fill all who come to Him in faith, your need(s) and the needs, the very needs, of your son! and, you won't have to do the impossible!. you won't have to fall, to have your very 'life' needs met!.
you can have what you need, and have it to give to your son --
i pray you find peace in Him!.
i hope this wasn't too preachy, but real to you!.
"God is love!."Www@Answer-Health@Com