Bipolar friend ruining her daughter's life, advice?!
Question: I've already talked to a friend of mine who's a licensed therapist. She says to distance myself and avoid all calls. I have a friend who is bipolar and manic depressant. She is always in a major mood from upset/angry/mean/depressed to overly hyper and super energetic. Her daughter is in special programs because her mother's erratic behavior is out of control. She has had delays and has a ton of emotional problems from it, and is 4 years old. My friend refuses to take the meds her providers have prescribed. I am so afraid that her daughter is going to be permanently damaged worse than she already is. I have made reports to Child Protective Services and to my therapist friend who vowed to report her lack of compliance to her therapist. Any advice? If I don't call her back she gets obsessive and reads all these conspiracies into why I'm not calling, and after leaving many messages - I call her just so she will relax and lay off. ??? She's more of an acquantinance than a friend. Advice?
Answers: I've already talked to a friend of mine who's a licensed therapist. She says to distance myself and avoid all calls. I have a friend who is bipolar and manic depressant. She is always in a major mood from upset/angry/mean/depressed to overly hyper and super energetic. Her daughter is in special programs because her mother's erratic behavior is out of control. She has had delays and has a ton of emotional problems from it, and is 4 years old. My friend refuses to take the meds her providers have prescribed. I am so afraid that her daughter is going to be permanently damaged worse than she already is. I have made reports to Child Protective Services and to my therapist friend who vowed to report her lack of compliance to her therapist. Any advice? If I don't call her back she gets obsessive and reads all these conspiracies into why I'm not calling, and after leaving many messages - I call her just so she will relax and lay off. ??? She's more of an acquantinance than a friend. Advice?
Sounds like a screwed up situation. Wish I could help ya.
No, not really.
It sounds like you have contacted all the people that you need to in this. It's very hard to deal with someone who is not complying with their meds, and whose children are suffering because of their inability to help themselves. Let CPS do their work and investigate, and keep calling them if you feel like the child is in danger. That is something you feel you need to do! Her daughter may be taken away from her eventually and hopefully will begin the healing process in a foster care family where she can be away from that crazy behavior. I have a situation that is similar to that, and it's very hard when you feel you are in the middle of it. Try to step back though. You really cannot do anything about it, except to encourage her to take her meds for her daughters sake if not hers. Try not to talk to her very much, and if she starts getting erratic with you or threatening, call her therapist and let him/her know that you are having problems with her, and maybe it can be addressed in a way that won't cause too much trouble to you. Good luck. You are a good person to be concerned about her child. Just try to not let it eat into your own personal life too much. You're obviously a "fixer" and want to see change because you don't like what you are seeing. I hope everything works out for the best in this situation!
Not sure it'll do any good, but tell her that you'll be her friend if she takes her meds. If she doesn't, then she has to stop calling. She'll probably need to hear it a few times for it to sink in, and it probably will not convince her to take her meds. As for reporting, YES, keep at it. Bipolar is genetic. If her daughter has the genes, the volitile homelife almost makes it a foregone conclusion that it'll manifest in her, too.
Btw, I have bipolar disorder. More than half of us are ordinary ppl who manage our illness just like any other with a chronic disease.