Severely Depressed?!
Question: I hate to admit it- but I am severely depressed, and I can hide it well. I take medication for anxiety, and I am usually OK during the day. At night I sort of freak out. My fiance works nights and I am alone. I hate being alone. I think about taking my life, THINK, but never would. I am scared because my gram commit suicide in 91 and my mother tries just about every week. I don't want to be hospitalized, because I really am not a threat to myself. I am just severely depressed, and no one, including my fiance, understands. I feel like I am in a room with 500 ppl, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one turns to look my way. The only thing that makes me happy anymore are my two dogs. I hate my apartment, hate my job, hate just about everything. Are they any websites out there that anyone knows of that I may look at this weekend to help me out, seeing as all Drs. offices are closed? Thanks for your help- any suggestions I will take into consideration- I need help.
Answers: I hate to admit it- but I am severely depressed, and I can hide it well. I take medication for anxiety, and I am usually OK during the day. At night I sort of freak out. My fiance works nights and I am alone. I hate being alone. I think about taking my life, THINK, but never would. I am scared because my gram commit suicide in 91 and my mother tries just about every week. I don't want to be hospitalized, because I really am not a threat to myself. I am just severely depressed, and no one, including my fiance, understands. I feel like I am in a room with 500 ppl, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one turns to look my way. The only thing that makes me happy anymore are my two dogs. I hate my apartment, hate my job, hate just about everything. Are they any websites out there that anyone knows of that I may look at this weekend to help me out, seeing as all Drs. offices are closed? Thanks for your help- any suggestions I will take into consideration- I need help.
I have lived all my life with severe depression. I am 49 now. When I was 30, I had a 2 year old, didn't work, had no family nearby, and was suicidal. I never tried, but the thought was with me constantly. I will tell you right now, Prozac saved my life. Prozac is out of favor now, but back then, for me it was a miracle drug.
Depression like what you describe is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and the longer you suffer, the more the chemicals go out of balance. At this point, you may FEEL like you are not a threat to yourself, but the reality is, you ARE. You have two very big things working against you. You have genetics. Your family history says that you are predisposed to depression. AND, your Gram did commit suicide, and you mother attempts so often it is commonplace to you.
There are suicide hotlines out there (I have attached 3). You can use them until you can get in to see a Dr.
One book that I do recommend is 'Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy' By Dr. David Burns (link below)
It gives practical things you can do to help yourself.
But I do want you to know, you are in trouble RIGHT NOW. So do whatever you need to, to keep yourself safe until you can get an appointment on Monday. I know it doesn't seem like much right now, but I know from experience that my perception became skewed, and I didn't realize how bad it really was until I started to get better. You are in my prayers.
I wouldn't recommend mental health sites, they can freak you out more.
Please see a doctor, medicines really do work if you get the right ones.
First of all, please do NOT be afraid to admit that you are suffering from a real disease. Holding it in, makes it worse than ever. The freaking out, is probably panic attacks.
Please, please see a psychiatrist and get some more help. I understand your reluctance to be hospitalized, but sometimes it's necessary. You need to surround yourself with people who support you (you can email me if you want).
If you really feel that you are in serious need of help this weekend, don't search for a website, go to your nearest emergency room and get admitted. I do have one website below.
Good luck and hang in there!
hi,
my mother was like you
she plucked up the courage and went to see her doctor. He gave her some anti depressance and she went and saw a councellor.
she also found it helped if she talked about it to the people she new she could trust like her friends and family.
i hpoe that you find your old self and that this gives youa little bit of closer for now.
and remember that you have everyones support
xox