its 5am and iv been crying since- the type of sorrow and heart ache that i have just now is literally suffocating me. im in complete despair and was just thinking about not being able to take this pain anymore. i dont knw wat to do everything hurts so bad i cant breathe.
#1 you need to talk to a therapist routinely.. # 2 if the pills arent working you need to say something to whoever prescribed them and get on something else..
you should try another medication. paxil didn't help me either. there's effexor, zoloft, wellbutruin, prozac or lexapro. as for your father, don't listen to him. you aren't worthless. ur plenty worth it and he's the loser if you ask me. your goal in life in fact should be to show him how worth it you are. to be successful and happy. hang in there.
Want the real answer, I mean the REAL one? Jesus has it!
Don't be sad. God perfectly made you to be here and you are special in his sight. He loves you no matter what, give your pain to God. He has a purpose and a plan for everyone, even you.
Exercise!
Camping!
Just one strand of hope, this is your one shot at life, don't let anyone take it away from you! Get a bike and ride hard. Your old man's a fatso.
I know how you feel, and I know its not easy to think positive. With your dad if hes that much of a wanka you should just think f u c k you because its his loss, and you are worth more than that, don't waste your time and energy over it. You should be proud of who you are and don't let people bring you down. With your sister, if she is older than you and has a brain, she should know that she is acting like a dick. And childish and you should think "well if you want to act like that fine, cause i don't really give a crap". Don't sink yourself down to their level. I know its hard but what I try and do if people are bringing me down I try to grab all of their negative energy and i keep it and roll it in a ball and i use it as a power, a power to make me stronger. And I think that they are not worth the time and when they are ready to grow up and act civil, then I might give them some time. I try to think positive most of the time and i and do stuff with my friends or spend time with people who aren't negative. I get through my rough patches too thinking that I don't give a crap what anyone thinks of me, cause I know I'm a good person and I really don't care, if someone has an opinion of me thats fine but at the end of the day I never let it bring me down, it just makes me stronger. If you want to talk to me again my email addy is Fiddy_31@hotmail.com I hope you feel better.
There is a lot you can do...I have had panic/anxiety disorder for 17 years and I have gotten much better the last few years, much better. I never thought I would be able to deal with them, but I have.
Try to find a real good, trusting friend who you can talk to about things that bother you. If you are feeling sorry for your self (not a criticism, it's a normal thing to do), try to donate your time to someone or some organization that needs your help. There are tons. Believe me, it will make you feel MUCH, MUCH better.
Life is painful, that is a fact you will have to just deal with. Things will get better, and tough times will pass....that is also a fact! Remember, that there are always people worst off than you. Millions.....
Also, and most important, you are a valuable human being, with talents, strengths, and ideas that this world needs. You are as good as anybody else in this whole world and the world needs you here, alive, now..................Good luck
I am going to take your question seriously and assume that your father - the mean one - is actually your father and the other father who won't pay child support is the father of your children and they are two different people.
I have major depression and anxiety, with the depression the far more serious problem. I have tried several medications and combinations and haven't found any that pep me up and give me energy to the degree I would like; however, generally I am going along well enough to keep from going to bed and pulling the sheet over my head as I did before treatment. I am here at the computer and go out and see my friends.
You may not be taking enough medication. Perhaps you need a stronger dose or a different medication. I am taking both Lexapro and generic Wellbutrin for depression. I have tried other medications (first with the psychiatrist prescribing, then when balanced, my family doctor). Paxil is an antidepressant, and helps with anxiety and panic disorder.
For anxiety, I take generic BusPar.
I have read that only 60 to 80% of people are helped by antidepressants. I also had talk therapy with a psychologist (that's when the psychiatrist monitored the medication) and started with group day therapy before that. There is depression in my family so a genetic component exists. I expect to be on medication for the rest of my life because it is not from a particular situation that will go away.
The 2 web addresses below seem to have sensible information about anxiety and depression.
Hope you can find help. It's a terrible way to feel.
You are also very angry. Use that anger to get yourself help.
Have you had your blood checked for other issues, ie. thyroid?
Could it be your hormones too?
What you focus on intensifies. Just the fact that you have listed these horrible negatives, tells me they are on the forefront of your thinking. It takes hard work to take your thoughts captive. That is stop the negative thoughts. Think about what you did well, what is working, and have hope for the future.
Start an affirmation list to counteract all the "worthless" statements.
A cognitive therapy lesson you can do is on the website below. It may be helpful.
I know you do not want to hear this but trust in God and he will protect you from the demons that haunt you. Satan attacks at the weakest points. I am a strong family person and when anyone is sick Satan tries to steer my thoughts to "what if..." and it gets worse. I say out loud something like "Satan, I know what you are doing and if you are not doing the work of the Lord then I command you to leave me and my family alone." Find a good Bible-based Church that you are comfortable with and that can support you in your times of need. The power of prayer is amazing. I will keep you and your family in my prayers tonight. When your sister and Father come to the realization of how much they have hurt you they will come to you for forgiveness. Be prepared to forgive. I am sure they are hurting too but maybe in other ways. I have not been hurt to the degree that you have but know that forgiveness is powerful and amazing. Please hang in there and get all the help you need. Surround yourself with good people that will be there for you. If your therapist is one of them, be honest and open. It is their job to help you. Medicines work differently for everyone and it may take some time to find the right one and correct dosing. If you have immediate needs you need to call help lines. There is always someone there to extend a hand and pull you through. Know that Jesus loves you always.
See anxiety treatments, at ezy build (below) in section 6. Set yourself a fixed limit for worrying about any particular subject, (say; 10, or 15 minutes) after which, resolve firmly to refuse to even consider that subject again on that day: realise and accept that to do otherwise would be counterproductive to your mental health, and enjoyment of life. Use the technique for reprogramming negative thoughts and internal monologue (self talk), on pages 2, and 2L, to help you in this: some people carry a wide rubber band in their pocket: put it on their wrist; stretch, and release, as a means of reinforcing it, and speeding up the process, re-pocketing it afterwards, but I regard this as being purely optional. Practice one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at
http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer: "Even though I have anxiety, and low self esteem, I deeply and completely accept myself." ~~~ DEPRESSION: My standard post follows, but, if you are young, antidepressants are unsuitable for young people. See depression treatments, at ezy build, below, in section 2, and consult a doctor, to eliminate thyroid problems, etc. as possible contributing factors: also seek a referral to a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. It is your decision, and yours alone, as to whether to take any antidepressants offered, but, before you do, read section 1, and check medications out at www.drugs.com so you will be on the lookout for side effects, like sexual dysfunction. My strong recommendation, however, is to follow the advice of my doctor, his associate, and also Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP, and Dr. Mercola, at www.mercola.com and many others: avoid antidepressants (pages 2V, and 2Z refer, & antidepressant websites: page 2). The reasons why we all share the same view on this are explained in full, as you will find, if you read the whole section. All of their advice, (except prayer, because many people are not religious) I have incorporated into the "core treatments" of the multidimensional approach to treating depression, including occupational therapy, relaxation techniques, and exercise, with others as options, such as the supplements: Inositol, or SAMe, or herbal remedies, like St. John's wort. If you are diagnosed with clinical (major) depression, antidepressants may be necessary for a while, which will give the treatments time to become effective. The antidepressants themselves need at least several days, or even weeks to begin becoming effective. It's a good idea to taper off them slowly, with medical advice, after several months, say, to a couple of years, at most, because they are only effective in the long term for about 30% of people. Because of this, you would be well advised to begin the treatments immediately, and maintain them. I'd just thank your mental health care provider, and pocket the prescription, trying the treatments for a few months, to see if they are sufficient for you, before considering filling it (unless clinically depressed, and having great difficulty functioning, or suicidal, in which case I'd take them). If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at
http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements for the winter months only! (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels, using the 25 Hydroxyvitamin D test. Optimal levels are 50 - 55 ng/ml (115 - 125 nmol/l. It should be above 32 ng/ml. Those people who receive adequate exposure to sunlight, daily, won't need the vitamin D from cod liver oil, but many people, particularly those in latitudes far from the equator, find this difficult, to achieve. ~~~ Self/esteem/confidence are addressed in section 38. Volunteer, even from home, at first, to provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I.. (insert activity here)..". Section 47 refers. On volunteering outside the home, you will come into contact with supportive people, and receive positive feedback for your efforts, which will be obviously appreciated: there are many options; one is sure to suit you.
I was planning to stop visiting this planet and read about not blowing up a house to get rid of bugs. There is a reason for what happens in our lives and it isn't always clear til later.
Im a big believer in work therapy. I dont know if you have a job. If you dont, go get one. If you do, just try to immerse yourself in your work and take it one day, one minute at a time.
Work makes you feel like your needed and helps self esteem. Also, the teduim of focusing on your work gets you mind out of the viscious circle your in, and at least in terms of anxiety, I totally understand you situation.
So work therapy helps you on two front (self esteem and breaking catastrophic thinking). If you think your incapable of doing a job right now....ignore that thought, and just go get a job.
RECOMMENDED READING: POWER OF NOW (or buy CD).
haha