Is anyone having the HOLIDAY Blues?!
Question: Well, normally holidays don't depress me. But this year, I'm so depressed I can't even eat. But then again I was suffering depression all year-bad enough where I needed to be hospitalized & couldn't focus in school. Last yr. was the 1st yr. I spent Christmas without my family-I was living in a homeless shelter. I'm pretty sure I'll be completely alone this year with no one to call me, but my family will be expecting presents from me but won't think twice about buying me anything. I'm better off alone & without them. I know the reason why I'm depressed. I say the holidays have nothing to do with it. I'm stressed & worried about my future-what to do next year. Debating on whether I'm going to go to school, work, or both, or just take a BREAK. I suffered several anxiety attacks this semester, & they put a block on my school registration because of DISORDERLY CONDUCT, & they thought I was a danger to myself & others. All I did was cry & hyperventilate, saying how I can't take it anymore.
Answers: Well, normally holidays don't depress me. But this year, I'm so depressed I can't even eat. But then again I was suffering depression all year-bad enough where I needed to be hospitalized & couldn't focus in school. Last yr. was the 1st yr. I spent Christmas without my family-I was living in a homeless shelter. I'm pretty sure I'll be completely alone this year with no one to call me, but my family will be expecting presents from me but won't think twice about buying me anything. I'm better off alone & without them. I know the reason why I'm depressed. I say the holidays have nothing to do with it. I'm stressed & worried about my future-what to do next year. Debating on whether I'm going to go to school, work, or both, or just take a BREAK. I suffered several anxiety attacks this semester, & they put a block on my school registration because of DISORDERLY CONDUCT, & they thought I was a danger to myself & others. All I did was cry & hyperventilate, saying how I can't take it anymore.
I know how you feel. This year my parents gave me presents, but they were a scanner so I wouldn't have to use their's the mere 2-3 times a year I need it and a gift card to Chili's so I could take my g/f out for dinner b/c they know I'm normally not like that. IE they more or less bought presents for me that were for other people.
The sad truth is people often pick on those in depressions. My 25th last birthday involved no party, no presents, and a long speech from my parents how my summer internship at NASA had been less-than-perfect (I dropped out due to depression and social isolation not lack of performance). Now that I have a g/f who is crazy about me I get attention, but it is really attention toward her directed through myself.
I have learned from experience that work and school do not vibe well with depression. You most likely need to get away from your family for a bit, go to depression groups (they have several great ones on meetup.com), meet new friends, and learn that you are not the only one going through this.
If it gives you any hope, at 25 I was about to go on welfare despite that outrageous internship and a near-perfect academic record no one would hire me or date me...that's how much people hated me. And my best-friend had taken my g/f (also his friend) while I was on internship and virtually all my old friends from that group refused to talk to me or be seen with me.
But now my life is excellent job and relationship-wise, met a woman by my own devices against my parents will (IE did it online against their advice)...and I may still not fully have their respect, but I have my own family even without their support now. And it all started with meeting at depression groups and chatting with "random" people in similar situations. You're not that alone, trust me...
Best luck!!
For the first time I am choosing to not be with my parents this year for Christmas. It is sad that I am doing this but I want to try something different to see if it helps me feel better.
This time of the year does get us thinking about the future, (next year). Whatever you decide to do, be sure you are not placing too much stress on yourself.
Only do what you think you can manage.
I hope you will be feeling better soon.
If you are alone for Christmas, check out YA to see who else is around at the same time you are.
Yeah! I'm broke beyond recognition and once again, I just got into an argument with the same cousin I was mad at around this time last year!